


Scars

by Lazarusmycroft



Category: MorMor - Fandom, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Mental Instability, Oral Sex, Profanity, Unhealthy Relationships, suicidal suggestions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1353235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazarusmycroft/pseuds/Lazarusmycroft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Moriarty and his hired gun Sebastian Moran discover what being in a relationship really means.  Based on canon Sherlock.</p><p>"In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Jim/Seb fic so please be kind but kudos and reviews are always welcome!

For what was probably the millionth time and what Sebastian told himself would be the last, he had left Jim.  He was completely and utterly fed up with the constant and volatile fighting, not just over important things but over  _everything._ Things had recently become absolutely volcanic, Jim was teetering right on the edge and his fanatical obsession with Sherlock Holmes was quickly getting out of hand and Sebastian swore that he would not sit around and watch his psychotic lover self destruct as was destined to happen.

There were days when Sebastian couldn't even remember how they had ended up together, it certainly wasn't planned.  When he had begun working for James Moriarty three years ago as a freelance sniper it was because the pay was outstanding, enough to cover all of his expenses and then some, enough to live the lavish lifestyle he had always coveted.  Sebastian spent his free time drinking, womanizing, and participating in various other questionable activities.  He was, in fact, the best marksman that money could buy so it wasn't really surprising that a criminal genius like James Moriarty would seek his services and also pay top dollar for his loyalty.

Never expecting to have more than just a simple employer/employee relationship with the man, Sebastian never really cared if the messages that he received were mostly rude and curt, demanding services rendered with barely any notice at all.  However, things changed quite drastically about a year after taking employment.  It all began with a first face to face meeting between Sebastian and Mr. Moriarty, Sebastian was stunned to say the very least.  His employer turned out to be nothing like Sebastian had originally expected, he had been anticipating a middle aged, over weight, white businessman on a power trip.  What he was greeted by was so completely different and incredibly powerful. The man who stood in front of him in that cavernous warehouse was a man about five feet, eight inches tall with jet colored hair combed straight back from his high forehead accenting his aquiline nose and making his dark, unfathomable eyes the focal point.  Sebastian noticed the way his dark eyes seemed to absorb all light like two black holes and they were constantly roving his surroundings, aware of every minute detail.  Despite the man's short stature he held himself in such a way that reminded Sebastian of a crouching tiger, prepared to spring for your jugular vein in less time than one could possibly react.  He was dressed in an impeccably tailored charcoal grey suit, dark tie and white shirt with highly polished shoes, Sebastian would later learn that some of the only suits that were allowed to adorn his boss were from a designer called Vivenne Westwood whom he had never heard of, knowing nothing of fashion designers himself.  As for the sniper, a tall, lean and well muscled rugged man bearing many scars earned from his time spent hunting big game and his time spent serving his country, he typically never felt intimidated by anyone or anything...except James Moriarty.

James advanced on Sebastian, stalking forward grinning in a very Cheshire Cat sort of way, the whole time he seemed to be sizing Sebastian up as his eyes roved over his entire body making the hairs at his nape stand on end.  Feeling anxious Sebastian rubbed a calloused hand over his lightly scruffy face and stroked his jaw, never once taking his eyes away from the predator as he advanced on him.  He had spent enough time hunting predatory beasts to know better.  James stopped only a few feet in front of him and stood for a moment simply staring at the man, his hired gun.  Finally after a few moments more he began to speak with a surprisingly higher pitch and a pleasing Irish lilt that Sebastian was not expecting.

"Colonel Sebastian Moran.  We finally meet, after all this time.  I have been enjoying myself, watching you work."

Sebastian wasn't quite sure how he should respond so he settled for smiling his shark-like grin, bearing all his perfect, white teeth.  Moriarty carried on.

"You are certainly prettier in person than I had honestly expected.  This  _is_ delightful."

By now the shorter man was standing directly in front of Sebastian with his hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly hunched.  Sebastian could feel goose pimples erupt all over his body which he found slightly disconcerting.  He decided it was time to assert himself.

"Thank you, sir.  With all due respect, sir, what is the purpose of this rendezvous?"  He asked, his German accent dominating his acquired British one.

"Now, now Sebastian, best not to rush these things.  Besides, as your boss I can reliably inform you that you have no previous engagements today."  James was now walking slowly around Sebastian, circling like a bird of prey and Sebastian would never forget the thrill of excitement that coursed through his body when his employer laid a white, long fingered hand on his scarred and tattooed forearm.

"We will have to get you an appointment with my tailor as soon as possible and out of these rags. I can't be seen to be travelling about with a man dressed as you are now."  His voice was a low, deadly purr as he remarked on Sebastian's clothing.

Cocking his head slightly to the side Sebastian replied, "I'm sorry, sir?"

"You see, Colonel, I have recently found myself in need of a...personal...bodyguard.  Your skills have been touted as exceptional.  As I said earlier, I have seen some of your work and I admit that you have thus far impressed me.  Impressing me takes quite a bit of effort, I might add."

Sebastian once again found himself unsure of how to respond, he had only ever been following orders.  Admittedly he was the best sniper in his regiment and he never missed his mark.  His career in the army could and would have been illustrious in the extreme to say the very least.  If only he hadn't lost his temper with his commanding officer and then gone AWOL.  James began speaking again, snapping him out of his reverie.

"I do expect a certain level of loyalty and I'm afraid to say that this particular position comes with very little time off but the compensation is...shall we say...handsome."

James now backed up a few paces giving Sebastian a few feet of space and Sebastian didn't realize until that moment how tense he had been and he felt himself ease a slight bit, still never letting his guard down for one second. 

"How long do I have? To make my decision about this offer, sir?"

"I'm afraid that time is not exactly on your side, Sebastian. I will need your answer today."

Sebastian regarded the cunning criminal for a few moments and then, taking a few steps toward him he asked:

"And if I refuse?"

Jim smiled wickedly.

"I think we both know where that would leave us. I have observed that you are a fairly clever man. I would be truly heartbroken to lose you from my organization."

His face was set in a look of mock sadness with a twisted little smile playing at his lips.

Silence stretched on for a few more moments until Sebastian finally shared another of his shark like grins and agreed he would take the new position and that was the moment that everything changed, changed in ways that he never would have dreamed were possible. The first few months serving as bodyguard were really quite uneventful and he found that he was actually quite enjoying the job, much more than he would have thought possible. He had moved from his own tiny and cramped flat to Jim's sprawling flat in central London. The place was enormous and designed in an ultra modern fashion, all sharp edges and flat planes. The entire place was furnished and decorated with top of the line appliances and furniture. The sectional was made from the finest Italian leather, real Kandinsky prints adorned the walls and Sebastian could only imagine how much the place would cost. He had observed, however, that his boss typically spared no expense when it came to obtaining things he desired.

The day after Sebastian had agreed to the job offer he found himself being fitted by the magnate's personal tailor, James had specified exact colors and cut of the suits he desired his body guard to wear. The suits were to be black with dark ties and crisp white shirts, he spared no expense yet again. Sebastian learned quite quickly that it was best not to argue over the trivial things because in the end James Moriarty always got his way, always.

Their relationship rapidly grew as they tended to spend every waking moment together per their working agreement. Jim, as he preferred to be called, was very demanding and tended to be temperamental when things didn't go his way, which, thankfully did not happen often. When he did get angry household items within reach usually ended up broken and Sebastian was positive it must have been costly. Sebastian found out rather quickly that his job mostly consisted of protecting Jim from himself and appearing intimidating when they went out. When his boss was in one of his less ferocious moods he turned into what Sebastian liked to think of as a playful little house kitten. That was how he found himself more and more often thinking of the man, as his pussycat, it always made him smile. That is not to say that Sebastian forgot how lethal Jim could be, he once ordered Sebastian to kill an assistant because he forgot to relay a message and when Sebastian tried to talk him out of it Jim, despite not liking to get his hands dirty, took Sebastian's gun and blew the guy's head off. He was dangerous and should never be under estimated.

As his attachment to this man grew he also found that he wasn't really surprised when one day a few months into the new living arrangements he was in the spacious kitchen, wearing only pajama bottoms and a thin black t-shirt, fixing breakfast and his thoughts strayed once more to the criminal still lying in bed, asleep at eleven thirty in the morning. The two men had spent a late night drinking two bottles of Merlot, the very best vintages that Jim owned, and having their first real discussion that didn't only involve work. The conversation had been extremely enlightening and Sebastian was quite sure that their relationship had been changed irrevocably. He heard soft foot steps on the cold tile floor and he turned to see Jim standing in the door way with his arms crossed and a look on his face that was...admiring? It was difficult to say.

"Had a nice sleep, then?" He asked in his ringing Irish accent.

"Yes, sir. And you?"

"In light of the previous evening Sebastian, I think we can safely do away with the term 'sir'. Wouldn't you agree?" He came into the kitchen and sat on one of the bar stools at the island awaiting his morning tea. Sebastian turned back to the stove to hide his pleased smile while he answered.

"I suppose, only if you insist. Tea will be ready in a moment."

After that Sebastian noticed that Jim kept finding reasons to be closer, within touching distance of Sebastian at almost all times. It only took the two men a few days before they finally shared their first real kiss, and more. An important business deal had just been confirmed and Jim was inevitably in one of his "kitten" moods as he bounced all about their flat filling two tumblers with his finest Irish whiskey. He handed one to Sebastian and held his out for a toast wearing his widest grin. They clinked glasses and they both downed the contents in one swig. Sebastian remarked how smooth the drink was while Jim refilled their glasses.

They sat together on the sectional roughly an arm's length apart discussing the fine whiskey and relishing in the moment as the sun set turned the sky purple and then a deep indigo outside the wall of glass behind the sofa. Jim stood up to remove his suit coat and neatly hang it so as not to cause any wrinkles. When he came to sit down again he placed himself right next to Sebastian, the Colonel stiffened at the sudden proximity of the consulting criminal. An instant later he had taken his crystal tumbler from his hand and placed it on the glass table. Putting his one hand on Sebastian's inner thigh, very close to his crotch he leaned in and Sebastian felt his boss's mouth right next to his ear, so close that he felt the man's lips brush the sensitive skin, giving him chills. Unsure how to respond, Sebastian sat stock still.

"Every being has it's counterpart, Sebastian. Wouldn't you say? The predator and it's prey, hunter and hunted. It's what we call natural selection. I'll let you decide which you are."  
His words were a breath in the sniper's ear, the pleasing aroma of the whiskey potent on his warm breath and Sebastian could feel his heart rate increasing.

Before he was able to fully comprehend what was happening the smaller man was on top of him, pushing him with unexpected force into the firm cushions of the sofa. In the next instant Jim's cold, thin lips were on his own, Sebastian mused for a brief second that he should have shaved his scruffy, reddish beard that morning. Before he was aware that he was responding he had grabbed Jim forcefully around the middle and pulled him in tightly, enjoying the feeling of their hard chests pressed together.

In one deft movement Jim had loosened Sebastian's tie and threw it aimlessly across the room. There was a small voice somewhere in the back of Sebastian's mind telling him that this was not what he wanted, this was not right, he ignored it as he smiled and nibbled Jim's tongue playfully. They broke apart for a moment as Jim quickly and efficiently unbuttoned Sebastian's shirt revealing perfect abs and a beautifully detailed Bengal tiger stalking across his nicely formed pectoral muscles. Jim sat back for a moment, seemingly in awe, and then with long, cold fingers he caressed the amazing art work and looked Sebastian in his steel grey eyes for the first time.

With an uncharacteristic softness he asked his body guard, "Are you alright?"

Sebastian never even hesitated as he put his calloused hand at the nape of Jim's neck and pulled him in to continue kissing as passionately as before. Sebastian shrugged out of his shirt and pulled Jim down on top of him as they slid sideways to a prone position, never breaking contact in the process. Sebastian found it almost laughable, how much he was enjoying this, having only ever been with women Jim's body was unexplored territory and he almost couldn't contain himself. Sebastian, somewhat clumsily, undid Jim's shirt and relished every moment when his fingertips brushed the other man's skin on his chest.

Jim, for his part, seemed quite skilled. Knowing exactly where to place his hands and when Sebastian felt his cold hands slide to the fly of his trousers he arched his back and inhaled sharply. Jim hesitated only a moment and then continued what he had started. He pulled back briefly to grin wickedly at the man below him then, dipping his head he began kissing a trail across the majestic tiger on Sebastian's chest and then went lower to his belly button where he paused and left very soft kisses. Sebastian feared he wouldn't last much longer when Jim stood up abruptly and held out his hand to his extremely aroused sniper. Sebastian was panting and he looked up confusedly.

"I'm certainly not planning on fucking for the first time on a sectional in front of all these windows. I'll meet you in my bedroom." He turned and walked away and Sebastian lunged up with a low moan to follow him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see... the blood all over your hands...  
> does it make you feel... more like a man...  
> was it all... just a part of your plan...  
> the pistol's shakin' in my hands...  
> and all I hear is the sound... 
> 
> \----"Always"

That night would always stand out in Sebastian's mind as the happiest of his life, never having been a man who was overly moral, the whole thing just felt... _right._ The two men were absolutely breathless and frenzied with their desire for the other and they shared the most passionate night of their lives.  Unfortunately the post orgasmic bliss was not destined to last.  They did have a very pleasurable first few weeks, consumed by their lust they could barely refrain from tearing each other's clothes off constantly and to be honest they didn't try very hard not to.  As the weeks wore on and a few of Jim's prospective clients failed to amount to anything of particular interest and a few of his employees were discovered to be passing sensitive information outside of his organization things became quite tense within their flat and Sebastian could sense an eruption looming on the horizon.

One particular Monday in early October when the weather was turning decidedly chilly Jim had a meeting with an informant, via internet since Jim never showed his face to any of his employees with the exception of a very select few.  The meeting served the purpose of bringing to Jim's attention a certain consulting detective who seemed to be the cause of a few of his failed plans.  Admittedly they weren't his grandest or most intricate plans but nevertheless it made him angry in the extreme.  He had heard of Sherlock Holmes in passing and had heard that he was a supposed genius, he would be damned if that man would out smart him.  When Jim finally emerged from his office it was immediately evident that he was in a towering temper.  Sebastian waited.

Walking to the bar at the far end of the room he slowly and methodically poured himself a scotch, deliberately moving as though in slow motion.  After a few torturous minutes he finally turned and faced Sebastian who was standing on the opposite side of the room leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest.  Jim spoke in his softest, deadliest whisper.

"We have work to do, I will not sit around here waiting for the world's only consulting detective to  _RUIN ME!!!"_

He downed his drink in one swallow and then held the crystal tumbler up in front of his eyes as though he were inspecting the empty glass, then, without warning he threw it across the room where it hit the wall and shattered just inches to the right of Sebastian's head, he felt shards of glass fall on his sleeve.  Still Sebastian didn't move or say anything, he simply continued to lean against the wall and keep his eyes fixed on the predator, he knew this was all a part of a process.  This was, however, the first time that Jim had ever attempted to injure him while in the height of his anger, he usually just had someone else killed, never was Sebastian his target...until now.  Sebastian was angry, furious in fact.  Jim now came stalking towards him and Sebastian could see the cold fury in his dark eyes as he came nearer, he pushed himself away from the wall and stood straight.  His boss came right up to him and, clenching his left hand into a fist he landed a solid hit squarely on Sebastian's unshaven jaw.  As he rubbed the spot where Jim had hit him the criminal raised his fist to strike again but Sebastian was prepared and caught his boss's forearm in his hand and brought their faces within inches of each other.

"I don't think so."  He whispered, barely containing his fury.  He deftly spun Jim around and pinned him against the wall where the glass had shattered only moments before.  With an enormous effort Sebastian controlled his anger and he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper and his German accent becoming thick.  

"I know you're angry,  _sir,_ but this won't solve anything.  Tell me what you want from me."

 

Jim was absolutely furious and Sebastian was absolutely certain that, if it had been possible for him to reach his pistol, he would have blown Sebastian's head off.

"I want...to not...be  _SURROUNDED...BY FUCKING IMBECILES!!!"_ Jim shrieked at him as he struggled to release himself from the stronger man's grip.  They stood locked in that fierce embrace for what felt like an eternity then Sebastian smiled his widest most menacing grin and he placed his right hand over Jim's Adam's apple and pressed his head firmly into the wall behind him.  He then leaned in and kissed him more passionately than ever before.  When he released him he turned and grabbed his mobile, keys and aviator sunglasses from the table and as he reached the door he looked over his shoulder at Jim who still hadn't moved.

"Thanks for all the fucking, pussycat." He had just about stepped through the door when he heard that Irish voice that he so adored but at this moment made him want turn homicidal.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Sebastian simply smiled and gave a cocky little wave as he left the flat.  That was the first time they split up and it was truly difficult, though neither would ever admit to it.  As often as Sebastian tried to convince himself that he was simply having fun with Jim and that he was not becoming emotionally attached to the man, he quickly learned that he was lying to himself, as usual.

He returned to his musty, tiny flat that now felt distinctly unlived in.  He stayed there for about two weeks, meanwhile Jim had started his personal campaign against Sherlock Holmes and he was rapidly becoming obsessed.  He had been put, indirectly, in touch with a man, a cabbie who had learned that he was destined to die of a brain aneurism and he had little money to leave his estranged children when the time came.

Jim had concocted a brilliant plan, two pills.  The cabbie was ordered to pick up fares, he was allowed to choose his victims as he pleased and then he was to force the victim to swallow one of the pills which would, of course, be poison.  Jim felt that it would be fun, a nice distraction, to watch this man work, he did seem to possess a certain amount of cunning.  The man would be paid per victim a predetermined sum of money.

Sebastian had been keeping an eye on the newspapers and felt absolutely certain that these suspicious "suicides" as Scotland Yard was ignorantly calling them, had Jim's signature all over them.  He couldn't help missing the infuriating man, he longed to call him and hear the contemptuous tone he used when he was feeling particularly vulnerable.  The first few days after he had left he received a non-stop barrage of vicious text messages.  They finally stopped when Jim became distracted with his newest pet, Sherlock Holmes.   Sebastian spent those early days feeling sorry for himself and reverting to his self destructive behavior and was constantly drunk on cheap scotch while smoking almost two packs of cigarettes a day while wallowing in his self loathing.  He couldn't understand how he had let his life come to this.  Finally he decided he needed to get Jim out of his head and he desperately needed to go out, so he did.  His only goal was to see how many women he could fuck, it wasn't difficult to find willing participants as most women tended to find him gorgeous with his rugged good looks  Sebastian however found it more difficult to enjoy himself, he found the only thing that helped was thinking of Jim.

One day almost two weeks later his mobile loudly woke him after a night of debauchery.  Looking at the tiny screen he was startled to see the number of one of Jim's closer henchmen, clumsily he answered.

"'Lo."  Sebastian mumbled, barely coherent.

"Sebastian?"  the gruff voice asked, sounding uncertain.

"Whaddya want?"  He groused into his pillow and he glanced at the fit blonde lying naked next to him.

"It's Mr. Moriarty, he needs you.  I'm sure I will pay for this call but please come, quickly."  The man disconnected and Sebastian jumped up, pulling whatever clothes he could reach on to his naked body.  The girl, whose name he couldn't recall, stirred sleepily and blinked up at him.

"Alright, love?"  She asked with a questioning look.

"Yeah, just lock up...or don't.  I don't care.  I have business to take care of."  His German accent became thicker as it always did when under stress.  The girl pulled the bed clothes up to cover herself and looked worried.  Feeling bad he flashed one of his trademark, toothy grins and bent down to kiss her on the mouth.

"I'll be in touch, doll."  He told her having no intention of ever seeing her beautiful face again, she wasn't his type.  He left the flat grabbing his leather jacket and sunglasses, hailing a cab once he was on the street.  He was clever enough to know he needed to be dropped off a few blocks from his boss's flat.  The ridiculous cabbie that had picked him up felt the need to prattle on endlessly and Sebastian's head felt like it was going to explode, it was all he could do to stop himself from blowing the man's brains out and driving the damn cab himself.  Now the man was chattering on senselessly about making decisions in life and luck and some other stupid shit that the sniper barely heard through the buzz in his ears.

"Just shut the fuck up! I'm not paying you to talk, just fucking drive!"  He shouted at the man through gritted teeth finally when felt he couldn't possibly stand much more, he was about to snap.  After a few more moments of driving in blissful silence the cabbie pulled over on a side lane with very little traffic.  Sebastian went to open the door and found it was locked, he looked up puzzled and saw the cabbie turned around with a grin and a gun.  Sebastian rolled his eyes as he removed his Tom Ford aviator sunglasses.

"What the fuck is this?"  He was beginning to truly lose his temper now, he reached in his jacket and pulled out his own, real gun.  The man's grin faltered as he looked down the barrel.  Sebastian bared all his bright, white teeth at the startled, would-be murderer.

"Not a good day to fuck with me mate.  Take me where I told you or I swear to Christ I will blow your god damn brains all over the fucking windshield and then I will drive the cab myself.  Understand?"  The old man nodded once and then turned around, putting the car in drive.  Sebastian was absolutely furious, if he wasn't in a rush he knew the man would be dead right now.

"So, who the fuck are you?  What was that bullshit with the fake gun?  Are you just that god damn stupid?"

"No, sir, just the opposite, actually.  Just made a poor choice is all.  I was gonna offer you a chance, see, a very rare chance."

Sebastian was going to question the funny little man further but they had arrived at his destination and he wasn't about to waste another second.  he got out of the cab and grinning at the cabbie he flipped him his middle finger and strode away down the pavement without paying his fare.  As he walked he dug in his pocket for a cigarette and lit one between his teeth, feeling the stirring of anxiety deep in his gut.  He hadn't even spoken to Jim in two whole weeks and he had no idea what he was about to find when he walked through the door of the flat.  He flicked his finished cigarette into the street as he reached the building, he couldn't help feeling a little giddy as well as anxious.

Letting himself in to the flat he could honestly say that he had never truly expected to find what he did.  Jim was no where to be seen but the place, which was usually kept pristine, was a complete disaster.  Glass and debris from various broken items littered the dark hardwood floor, crunching under foot.  He noticed immediately that the usually well stocked bar was almost completely empty and over flowing ash trays were every where.  He walked the length of the room with only the echo of his foot steps for company, to stand at the bar and try and get his bearings because he felt as though he had been sucker punched in his gut.  He was standing with his back to the room and both hands leaning on the bar in front of him when he heard  _him,_  his heart skipped a beat with in his chest.

"Why've you come, tiger?" Sebastian was terrified to turn around, petrified at the thought of what he would find.  Taking a deep, steadying breath he finally did it, he wasn't prepared.  Jim's normally glossy and slicked dark hair was disheveled.  His dark, expressive eyes seemed hollow and haunted and they were surrounded by deep purple circles that resembled bruises.  Sebastian's breath hitched in his chest and he felt something clench deep in the pit of his stomach and all he could think was  _Christ._ The man looked absolutely crazed and psychotic but all Sebastian wanted to do was go to him and hold him and apologize, none of those things could ever happen.

Clearing his throat he said, "Sir, you look like shit.  Just checking on you, should have done sooner....apparently."

Jim laughed a bit maniacally and arched his eyebrows as he smoothed his still impeccable suit coat and adjusted his tie, the grey one with the skulls, Sebastian's favorite.  

"You think I need checking on, tiger?  You are sweeter than just a good shag, then.  I never would have guessed."

Jim walked to the bar and reached for the last, half empty bottle of scotch and poured himself a measure into one of the last, unbroken glasses.  Sebastian noticed that he reeked of alcohol already at only ten in the morning.  He decided he needed to intervene and he boldly took the glass from Jim's cold hand and placed it on the dusty mahogany bar.  He placed his large, rough hands on either side of the criminal's face and pulled him in to kiss him, Jim was unyielding at first and then he finally parted his lips to let Sebastian's tongue slide in and the sniper couldn't help but smile causing their teeth to clink uncomfortably.  Sebastian was savoring every second and was using incredible will power to stop from just ripping Jim's clothes off and taking him right there on the bar.  He was so busy controlling himself that he wasn't even annoyed when Jim kept biting his tongue and lower lip, presumably trying to teach him a lesson.  After a few more seconds of passion Sebastian pulled back and grinned wickedly down at the other man who was still attempting to look sulky.

"I fucking hate you, you know that, right?"

"So why do you love me then, tiger?"  

With a low growl from the back of his throat Sebastian grabbed him and pulled him in close again to continue kissing.  This time he didn't even attempt not to ravish the infuriating man.  In almost no time at all he had removed Jim's clothes and had pulled his own wrinkled t-shirt over his head, they were both breathless as they wound up on the floor with Sebastian pinning Jim down.  Jim looked up with a mischievous glint to his dark eyes and his icy hand traced the outline of Sebastian's Bengal stalking across his heaving chest.

"I'll admit, I have missed this."  Jim muttered.

"Shut up, you bastard."  was Sebastian's reply.  He then bent low over Jim's neck and nibbled all along his collar bone enjoying the soft sounds of pleasure escaping from the other's throat.  Jim reached up and grabbed him roughly by the back of his head, bringing his face level with his own he looked Sebastian right in the eye.

"Fuck me."  were his only words.

Sebastian, being adept at following orders, did as he was told with immense pleasure. After a few minutes Sebastian thought he wasn't going to last much longer as he was right on the verge and he felt Jim tighten around him, he could tell Jim was right at the edge too.  Neither of them lasted as long as they would have liked and Sebastian would have loved to go on forever, now completely aware that there was only one human being capable of causing him this much pleasure.  The man was now moaning pleasurably and breathing heavily beneath him.  A few moments later they were both lying on their backs, sweating and panting on the floor.  Jim rolled over to prop himself on one elbow and look at his exhausted sniper.

"Why have you really come, Seb.  I didn't phone you, so who did?"

Sebastian didn't answer immediately, when he did answer he deflected the question, not wanting to rile him up again.

"You know I really do love you, right pussy cat?"  He asked, staring at the high white ceiling above, not daring to look at Jim just yet.  He could hear the little huff of breath as Jim sighed and stood up.  Jim stood over him, naked, for a moment until he announced,

"I'm going to have a shower, then I'm going to keep my daily appointments, criminal empires don't run themselves you know.  After that I'm also planning to keep my dinner reservation for tonight at eight, will you be joining me?"

Sebastian had stood up now as well and was grinning in disbelief.  Of course he already knew what his answer would be, Jim was like the most powerful narcotic in the world and he was aware that he had turned into the worst possible junkie and he would never be able to deny him anything in the entire world.  Sebastian grabbed him by his hips and pulled him in for another fierce kiss.

"Yes, of course I'm coming darling."

There was plenty to discuss but for now Sebastian would just roll with it, he truly only wanted Jim to be happy, a near impossibility but he knew he would do anything to even come close.  He also knew that he was going to have try and stop his lover becoming even more obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, Sebastian felt a stab of anxiety that he couldn't explain when he thought about it.  He just felt that it was destined to end in tragedy and he couldn't allow that to happen.  For the first time in his life, Colonel Sebastian Moran felt truly afraid and he had no idea why. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

When they had both showered and dressed in their perfectly tailored suits, Jim in dark blue and Sebastian in his usual black, they were prepared to face the day and start their relationship over.  Sebastian would later recall that once again the first few days being back were consumed with lust, he couldn't even walk past his boss when they were alone without forcing him against a wall and kissing him as though the world were about to end.  Jim seemed really pleased with how his plans for Sherlock were unfolding as well which meant that he was constantly in motion, bouncing all around the flat just bursting with energy.  Sebastian couldn't help being concerned about Jim's obsession, it just felt... _wrong._

A few days later Sebastian was lounging on the sofa reading about the most recent "suicide" and about how the whole ordeal just kept getting stranger and stranger and Scotland Yard was simply mystified.  Obviously he knew by now that it was, as he suspected, all Jim's handiwork. He had never told his boss how the cabbie had absurdly tried to make him a victim, it was laughable.  From behind the closed door of Jim's office Sebastian heard his voice raised in anger.

"Either you fucking get to Sherlock Holmes or I promise that  _YOU_ will be the next dead body on the front page of  _The Times_ and I personally guarantee that your kids will never see a penny, you incompetent shit!  Do you understand me?"

Sebastian waited for the inevitable, never quite sure what to expect when the man exploded like that.  A few minutes later Jim emerged from his office wearing a look somewhere between disappointment and hatred, a look only Jim Moriarty could pull off flawlessly.  He came over to where Sebastian was seated on the sofa and curled into a ball next to his sniper with his head on Sebastian's lap.

"You want to talk about it?"  Sebastian asked tentatively.

"Why are they all so god damn stupid?  Sherlock Holmes is the only one alive clever enough to keep me even remotely interested.  Maybe I shouldn't kill him yet that might be too boring."

Sebastian felt as though his boss had just slapped him sharply in the face that was how keenly Jim's words bit.  Sebastian was a trained marksman though so, of course he never allowed his feelings to show.  Keeping up his uncaring facade, he said,

"I'm sorry, I wish there was some way I could help."

Jim rolled over and looked up in to the steel grey eyes of the man sitting stiffly above him.

" _You_ can try to distract me."  he replied and he reached for Sebastian's zipper on his trousers.  Sebastian was not exactly willing to give up his anger so easily.  Trying, with immense difficulty, to hide his arousal he stood up.  Jim sat up, looking annoyed and reached for Sebastian's cigarettes where he had left them on the table, lighting one he looked over at the broad back of the marksman as he now stood at the bar.

"What've I said now to upset you, tiger?"  He asked exhaling a puff of white smoke as he sat back, crossing his legs.  Sebastian ignored him and poured himself drink, swirling the amber liquid around his glass.

"You're really a prick most days.  I'll never understand why I put up with your shit."  Sighing he turned back to face the lounging criminal.

Jim smiled evilly while exhaling more smoke.  "Oh, my darling Sebby,  I think we both know  _exactly_ why you stay."  He leaned forward to crush out his finished cigarette in the crystal ashtray, then leaned back into the cushions putting both arms up to rest on the back of the sofa while still smirking at Sebastian.  Sebastian could feel his resolve slipping by the second and knew that he wouldn't resist that impish grin forever.  With a low grunt of frustration he came across the room to sit astride his boss and snog him until neither one could breathe properly.

That was where both men could be found hours later, naked and sated and twisted around each other when Jim's mobile woke them both some time around eleven P.M.  Reaching across Sebastian's naked torso he retrieved it from the table to answer it.

"This better be important."  There was a few minutes of tense silence and Jim listened to the person on the other end while Sebastian, who had awoken immediately, became worried by the look that was now coming across his lover's face.  When the other person had presumably stopped speaking Jim didn't say a word, he simply hit the "end" button and then flung his mobile across the room where it hit the wall and landed, shattered, on the hardwood floor.  Jim sat up, shaking with rage and Sebastian reached over to put his arms around him, he received a rather severe rebuff for his trouble.

"Get the fuck off." Jim now sat at the edge of the sofa and put his head in his hands rubbing his eyes vigorously.  Finally he looked at Sebastian who hadn't moved.

"Fine, I have to step it up.  He did me a favor, really.  I was going to have to get rid of him anyways, now it's not my problem."  Sebastian was aware that his boss had some other deals lined up, mostly things designed to specifically attract the attention of Holmes and it made him feel uneasy deep inside. Jim laid back down next to his sniper and put his head on Sebastian's hard chest, kissing him softly, he was sleeping again in only a few short minutes, breathing softly.  Sebastian, however, laid awake the rest of the night thinking.  He was desperately trying to find some way to distract his boss from this detective, he could feel it in his bones that it was going to end badly.

Over the next few weeks Jim was quite sulky for the majority of the time and things didn't seem to be panning out just as he had hoped.  whenever Sebastian tried to comfort him he was inevitably met by some sarcastic answer or just plain silence, so he kept his distance and tried, with enormous effort, to keep his cool.  He had gone back to sleeping in his own bed and he only accompanied Jim in the strict capacity of bodyguard when he went out.  Sebastian was frustrated but he kept it to himself because he felt terribly uneasy at the thought of not being by Jim's side 24/7, something was nagging at him and he knew where he needed to be.

Jim came to Sebastian one day as he sat reading from his favorite old volume, a collection of Poe's poetry,  in the chair in his room.  Sebastian had spent the morning avoiding Jim so he was aggravated when the man appeared in his room, looking sulky as usual.  He had his light grey suit on and his beautiful silver fox tie pin that Sebastian adored.  

"You have a job tonight.  I can't have anyone else do it, it must be done properly."  That was the nicest thing Jim had said to him in almost a month so Sebastian smiled in return, laying the heavy volume aside.

"Sure, what is the job?"  Jim then explained to him, sounding bored, about the smuggling ring from Asia that he had been consulting with and how, once more Sherlock had become involved.  The leader now needed to be got rid of, it was far too dangerous to let her live, she might have information which could be bad for Jim's business.  Sebastian didn't ask any further questions he just agreed that he would do it and he received his instructions as to where and when the woman could be found.

So it was that that night Sebastian did something he hadn't done in a long time, he donned his tightly fitted black clothing, pulled out his recently unused but well tended sniper rifle and headed for the precise location he had been told and he waited until he received the signal in his ear piece.  At approximately one in the morning he was signaled and, perfecting his sights he fired one shot from the roof of the building, as always he was perfect.  The Asian woman was dead before she ever realized what had happened.  Packing everything back up he was heading home and the whole affair had taken less time than it had taken him to travel there.

Upon entering the flat he was met immediately by Jim who looked expectant.  Sebastian pulled off his black leather gloves and black stocking cap and kissing his psychopath he went to the bar to pour a stiff drink as he always did after a job.  After downing one drink he finally looked over at Jim who was becoming visibly impatient.

"I honestly don't know what you are expecting?  Of course she's dead, I don't fuck up pussycat, never forget that."  He downed his second drink and stripping off his black thermal shirt and black trousers he headed toward the bathroom for a hot shower.  He was expecting Jim to join him but when he emerged almost forty five minutes later the criminal was nowhere to be found so Sebastian went to bed, exhausted.

He was only in his warm bed for a short time when he heard his door open and saw the smaller man's silhouette, Sebastian smiled in the darkness.  

"What do you need?"  He asked as Jim crawled into bed with him.

"I've just come to say thank you."  He was softly kissing Sebastian on his neck just below his ear, his pressure point.  Sebastian scooted away a bit so he could see the man better.

"Thank you? For what?  You _never_ say thank you, are you feeling alright boss?"  He asked sarcastically and Jim ignored him as he went under the covers to show how thankful he truly was.  Sebastian arched his back with a low moan and then kept his comments to himself until his boss had finished some time later.  He lay back panting heavily and Jim came and laid his head on his chest, listening to the sniper's accelerated heart rate.

As his breathing slowly returned to normal and he was able to speak again, he said,  "You must have been quite pleased by my work boss.  Glad I could make you happy."

"Shut up, you bastard.  Go to sleep, we have a few things to discuss in the morning. G'night tiger."   Sebastian was exhausted and he didn't argue as he held on to Jim a little tighter, feeling anxious again, they fell asleep that way.  They didn't wake until almost noon the following day and then it was only because the sun, which had decided to make an appearance, came glaring through the window.  Sebastian blinked and put his arm over his eyes for shade and he felt Jim stirring next to him.

"Morning, sleep alright?"  He asked the groggy criminal as they both sat up preparing to get out of bed.

"Yes, what time is it?  I have things I must attend to today."  He answered, somewhat curtly.

Sebastian looked at his watch and replied that it was noon, without answering Jim simply left the room and headed for his bathroom to shower and get dressed.  Sebastian laid back in his soft bed thinking of last night and feeling that now familiar pang of anxiety.  How was he going to get through to that impossible man?  He had no idea but he knew that he had to try so he resolved to try talking to Jim today and see if they couldn't come to some agreement regarding the man Holmes.  Forty minutes later when they were both showered and dressed and sitting at the island reading their respective papers over their tea, Sebastian decided it was now or never.  He laid his paper audibly aside and cleared his throat trying to get Jim's attention.  Jim promptly ignored him.

"We need to talk, Jim."  He decided he needed to be direct.

"Do we?  What about, my dear?"  Jim asked without lowering his paper to look across the island.

"Sherlock Holmes."

This finally got his full attention and he sighed in an overly dramatic way and laid his paper aside as well, he had been reading about that bitch with the stolen jade hair pin.

"And what, do you propose, that we should discuss regarding that man, Sebastian?"  His words were slow and precise, never a good sign.

Undaunted, Sebastian went on, "Well, to begin with boss, I was hoping that you could at least let me know what your plans for the future, regarding him, are."

Jim sat staring at Sebastian for a few moments without responding and then, quirking one corner of his mouth into a smirk, he said, "It's interesting you should ask.  I will, in fact, be needing your assistance over the next few weeks.  Are you prepared to do whatever I need?"

Sebastian leaned back in his chair and crossed his muscled arms over his chest as he surveyed his criminal boss.  He wondered how differently his life would have turned out if he had never met this beautifully irritating man.  He assumed he would have blown through his family money by now and he would probably be working for some two bit criminal or, even worse, he would be in prison,  so he decided, it could be a hell of  a lot worse.

"Yes, of course I am prepared to do whatever it is that you need."

Jim smiled, "Good, we have some preparations to make but this newest endeavor promises to be most thrilling and a definite cure for boredom."  He then proceeded to tell Sebastian of his client list which had become back logged while he was distracted with the other business, he now intended to work his way through it and he decided that he could also have a little fun with Sherlock while he was at it.  He couldn't resist showing off a bit first though so he told Sebastian about Carl Powers and how he had always made fun of Jim when they were in school and so he stopped him laughing.  Jim said it would be so much fun to watch Sherlock dance , as he put it, and then he showed Sebastian the blog of Dr. John H. Watson.

Over the next few weeks Jim explained that he wouldn't be around much and he didn't want Sebastian accompanying him, he had something he needed to do...alone.  Sebastian was suspicious and he hated the thought of Jim out alone but he did try very hard the first few nights not to invade his lover's privacy but he couldn't stand it when he kept coming home very late, wearing ridiculous clothes. Jeans and t-shirts with trainers, clothes that Jim would normally not even allow inside his flat.  One night he came home very late and he was wearing a dark pair of jeans with a long sleeve thermal shirt and trainers, Sebastian did notice his own set of dog tags from his time in the army tucked under his shirt but he had been bottling up his anger for some time now and he was at his boiling point.  Having spent the majority of his afternoon and evening in the pub he was feeling no pain at the moment and he didn't rethink his choices.  when Jim entered the darkened flat he wasn't immediately aware of Sebastian sitting on the sectional nursing a scotch and water.

"Any point asking where you've been?"  He asked thickly.

"No need to ask where you've been, I see.  Why are you sitting in the dark, Seb?"  He flicked the switch, illuminating the room and Sebastian on the sofa, not wearing his suit coat but the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows and his tie was askew.  The previously white shirt was covered in blood, some of it was obviously Sebastian's since his nose was apparently broken but it seemed the majority must belong to some poor sod who had gotten in Sebastian's way while he was in a temper.  The drunk man's eyes were swelling a bit and turning deep shades of purple, he would certainly feel that broken nose in the morning.

As Jim approached where he was sitting on the sofa he saw the other man's pistol laying casually next to him, it stopped the criminal in his tracks.  He stood about six feet away and decided it would probably be best if he didn't engage.  Noticing his hesitation Sebastian smiled his most menacing grin and it was made more gruesome by the current bloody state of his face. He picked the revolver up and downed the last of his drink.

In a slurred voice with a heavy German accent, he said, "Whatsamatter boss?  You don't think I'd hurt you, d'you?"  He stood up unsteadily and went over to where Jim stood, still holding his gun in one hand he used his free hand to grab the man tightly around the waist and pull him in close as he bent down and put his lips right to Jim's ear.

"You wanna keep secrets from me always, guess what?  You really can't.  I know where you've been and what you've been doing with that little twat, and I know it's all a part of this ridiculous plan.  I hope you and that cock Holmes are very happy together, I'm done."

He released Jim's waist with a little shove and went to walk away toward his bedroom when he heard the sharp snick of a safety catch being released on a gun. Sebastian stopped and turned around slowly in his drunken stupor, he was beginning to feel a little less intoxicated as the adrenaline was over powering the alcohol in his blood.   Jim was holding the gun straight out to his right, pointing it at Sebastian but he was facing the wall of glass in front of him.  Sebastian gritted his teeth and he walked straight back to where Jim was standing and taking Jim's wrist in his hand he moved it up higher and placed the cold metal barrel on his own temple, leaning into it.

"Go ahead, sweetheart, pull the fucking trigger.  What've you got to lose, hm?  I'll just end up being another loose end and men like you like to tidy up, am I right?"

Jim had turned to face him now and he hadn't lowered the gun nor had he removed it from Sebastian's temple.  They stood like that for long moments, Sebastian was still holding his own pistol limply at his side while he waited for Jim to decide.  He realized that it truly didn't matter how this turned out, he absolutely did not care what happened in the next few moments.  He knew that no matter how it turned out there would be pain and he mused that at least a bullet in his brain would be much faster and efficient.  Jim smiled his sarcastic little grin that infuriated Sebastian. Sebastian held his breath and willed himself to keep his eyes open as Jim pulled the trigger.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian stood for a second, waiting as it slowly dawned on him...the chamber was empty, he was still alive.  Jim lowered his arm and turned his head away again.

"Get out."  He said, his voice positively dripping with disgust as he walked away.

Sebastian stood for only a moment longer, catching his breath he grabbed his things and left the flat once again.  He decided he would walk the distance to his own small flat since he was a mess with his bloody face and shirt and he assumed the sight of him compounded with the stench of alcohol coming from him would put off any sane cabbie.  As he walked, smoking a cigarette,  he became aware that his mobile was oddly quiet.  Glancing at his Louis Moinet watch, an absurdly expensive gift from Jim, he saw that it was just past midnight so he decided to make a detour to Baker Street.

Upon reaching the dismal little street he simply stood on the opposite side of 221, looking up at the warmly lit windows.  He just couldn't understand Jim's obsession with Sherlock Holmes.  Yes, the man was a genius, a genius to rival Jim Moriarty, in fact.  Still he couldn't wrap his head around it, the detective had not yet come actively seeking Jim, so why was he so consumed by him?  Sebastian was frustrated and angry, he wanted to protect Jim but Jim constantly pushed him further and further away.  The sniper had lost track of how long he stood on the pavement, staring up at the flat where the windows had now gone dark.  He realized that his hands had gone numb inside his leather gloves, sighing, he turned and made his way to his own tiny place.

Apparently Jim had not been sitting around moping after Sebastian had left if the papers could be believed and Sebastian knew enough of his former boss to know that the papers were accurate.  The explosion that killed all those people was definitely Jim's handiwork.  Sebastian had made up his mind that this time he was truly done, he couldn't continue living this way.  He knew that if he didn't walk away now that Jim would most certainly kill him one day, directly or indirectly.

He was surprised when a few weeks later his mobile rang and the display showed Jim's number.  He answered without hesitating and felt himself immediately become tense.

"Sir?"

"Sebastian, are you still for hire?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, come over in an hour, we have to talk."

"Yes, sir."

Jim said nothing else, he simply disconnected and Sebastian was left in the silence once more.  After he showered he threw on a pair of dark jeans, a dark t-shirt and his leather jacket and his aviators and made for Jim's place.  He hated the coldness in Jim's voice when they spoke earlier, the coldness that replaced the usual bored contempt that Sebastian had come to adore.  

It was late by the time he reached his destination and he stood on the pavement smoking a cigarette before facing this particular demon.  Flicking his butt to the street he made his way inside, steeling himself for what he might find. As he entered he saw Jim sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed and wearing Sebastian's favorite dark blue Westwood suit with both arms resting on the back of the sofa.  Sebastian took a deep, steadying breath.

"Boss."

"Sebastian.  Come in, let's talk."  with that he stood up and straightened his suit coat then turned and led the way to his office.  Sebastian followed, barely able to stop himself from grabbing Jim by the face and kissing him so passionately that he might actually forget about Sherlock Holmes.  Ignoring the urge he settled for breathing in the intoxicating scent of Jim's expensive cologne.

Once inside his office Jim turned to face Sebastian and laid out the details of his plans for Sherlock.  He filled Sebastian in on what had been going on while he was away.  Sebastian stood with his arms behind his back, listening while Jim talked for almost a quarter of an hour.  He explained how Molly had broken up with after he met Sherlock Holmes at Bart's and Holmes, quite correctly, had deduced that he was gay.  He told Sebastian of the Bruce Partington plans and how Holmes was foolish enough to think that this whole game had been in an effort to get his hands on them but in reality Jim had seen the missile plans weeks ago and was uninterested.  Regardless, at midnight tonight he was meeting Sherlock Holmes face to face for the first time as Jim Moriarty, no disguise.  he needed Sebastian and his team of his most trust worthy and highly trained marksmen because one thing Jim Moriarty never did was underestimate Sherlock Holmes.

Sebastian stood silently for a bit longer and then he smirked at the infuriating criminal.  "So, that's it then?  You phone me out of the blue after weeks of not speaking and you tell me that, even though I have practically begged you, which is something I  _never_ do by the way, you are still playing with this detective pet of yours.  I don't really know how much plainer I can make my position on this issue, boss."

Jim sat staring at Sebastian for a moment then he stood and came around his desk to stand in front of the sniper, Sebastian felt a chill run down his spine.  The moment was tense as Jim gazed unblinkingly up at Sebastian, then as usual Sebastian gave in because it was now a matter of fact that he could never deny this man a single thing.  He smiled wearily at Jim.

"Of course I'll be there pussycat, wouldn't miss it for the world.  So the fake Vermeer, your forger was pretty good, not perfect but pretty good."

"Yes. I rather thought so, of course I didn't want it to be perfect or it would have been.  Come here, tiger."

Sebastian sighed and took a step forward and grabbed the criminal around his waist and pulled him to kiss him deeply on the mouth.  When he pulled back Jim was wearing his most wicked little grin.

"You  _have_ missed me, I can tell, tiger."

Sebastian released him with a small, playful shove and said, "Fuck you."

"Later."  was Jim's reply.

Smiling Sebastian turned to leave and begin preparations for tonight's rendezvous.  At approximately eleven o'clock they left the flat, Sebastian stayed with Jim until they reached the pool at which time he went his way to cover his boss and set up his sniper rifle, well hidden in the shadows.  Some lower level employees had the unlucky job of laying their hands on Dr. John Watson, since he was fairly unobservant it wasn't a difficult task but he was strong and he certainly fought until he was  _persuaded_ to cooperate.  Strapping the Semtex to his chest was the easy part.

From Sebastian's vantage point in the darkened second level he saw the tall, slim form of that pretentious consulting detective before anyone else.  He was almost overcome by the urge to just pull the trigger and finish the whole damn affair right now but he knew better, he knew Jim would kill him if he did that so he waited like a good boy.

The best part for Sebastian was seeing the stunned look on Holmes' face when his friend John Watson came walking toward him speaking Jim's words in that monotonous voice that Sebastian was quite sure was his little way of trying to clue Holmes in on what was happening, that he was wired up with enough explosives to level an entire city block.  It was unnecessary because the clever detective already knew what was going on.  Now the doctor opened his coat and showed Holmes the bomb on his chest and Sebastian was enjoying the look of fear that crossed his face.  Jim, however, was being overly dramatic in the sniper's opinion and he rolled his eyes in the darkness as he heard the melodious, taunting Irish voice.

His pussycat was thoroughly enjoying this, his little chat with Sherlock Holmes and Sebastian once again couldn't help feeling a slight pang of annoyance.  The echo of Jim's footsteps as he walked toward the detective and the doctor sent a shiver down his spine for the second time that evening.  He was finding it harder and harder not to pull the trigger especially as he crouched there watching as Holmes held a British Army Browning L9A1 aimed at Jim's head.  Of course Sebastian knew that Holmes would be dead before he ever got a chance to pull the trigger because his overtly sharp sniper senses would never allow the other man to get a shot off first.  If Holmes made the slightest move to indicate pulling the trigger Sebastian would kill him in a fraction of a second, no questions asked.

Jim had just thrown the memory stick in the pool and that ridiculous doctor came behind him and grabbed him by his neck, telling Holmes to run for it, Sebastian thought that was terribly sweet.  His boss was not surprised and he looked up to the general direction of where he knew his sniper to be and Sebastian took his signal and set his sights on Holmes.  He made sure to place the red laser dot in the center of the man's forehead, the detective realized it and indicated to Watson by a tiny shake of his head to let Jim go.  Jim straightened his suit coat and brushed it off dramatically and with an exaggerated arch of his eyebrows said.

"Westwood!"

Sebastian exhaled as the truly tense moment passed and he listened now as Jim told Holmes to back off and threatened to "Burn the heart out of him" if he continued to pursue him.  Now Holmes threatened to shoot Jim right now but Sebastian wasn't fooled, he was beginning to believe that the man actually did not possess any courage to speak of, not like the army doctor.  Sebastian watched as his boss turned and walked the length of the pool toward the exit.  He waited, knowing this wasn't over yet, he heard the door slam and watched as Holmes ripped the explosives from Watson's chest and then ran around checking for his boss.  The two men shared an awkward moment after that and a minute or two later, right on queue, Jim came back in to the pool area and once more he couldn't keep from being so damn dramatic.

"Sorry boys! I'm soooooo changeable! It's a weakness of mine, but to be fair, it is my  _only_ weakness.  You can't be allowed to continue, you just can't"  His voice echoed through the rafters and Sebastian smirked in the darkness.

Holmes was now pointing the gun at the Semtex vest now lying on the floor only a few feet from where Jim stood and Sebastian was tense.  He began to wonder if he had fatally underestimated the man after all.  It appeared that he and Watson were prepared to go down with the ship if need be.  The excruciating moment was interrupted by the sound of Jim's mobile ringing with his absurd ringtone "Stayin' Alive" by the BeeGees.  Immediately Sebastian could tell, even from this distance, that this was the important call that he had told him briefly about earlier tonight.  After announcing that today was the wrong day to die he turned his back and carried on his conversation as he made his way toward the exit once again.  Sebastian knew this time that it was over and his boss had actually left so he waited for the detective and his doctor to leave before he could clear up and head for home.  

A short time later, after checking thoroughly that there wasn't a single scrap of evidence that they had ever been there, he left the building keeping to the shadows.  He hadn't expected Jim to wait for him, he knew better.  Once outside he fished his mobile from his pocket and saw that he had three missed text messages and he smirked.

_Tiger, I had a lovely evening.-JM_

_Text me when you get this, we have to talk.-JM_

_Seb?-JM_

Sebastian honestly considered ignoring him and just going to his own place but he knew he couldn't, he didn't possess that kind of willpower. Sebastian had never been more turned on by the stubborn Irishman as he was tonight as he watched him taunt the so called genius detective.  Standing on the pavement he lit a cigarette and replied to his boss.

_Just left, will be at your place in twenty.-S_

When he arrived at Jim's flat all he could think about was how much he wanted a stiff drink and a scalding hot shower and then to see where the night went from there. He had barely closed the door to the flat when suddenly Jim grabbed him by his dark tie and pulled him down to bring their faces together and the next thing he knew they were all hands and mouths fumbling to undo the other's clothing as quickly as possible. They had made their stumbling way across the room, tripping over the glass table, and to the sofa where they collapsed as Jim quickly relieved Sebastian of his trousers, his shirt had come off somewhere near the door with his tie. He had already removed his own coat and his shirt was undone as he sat astride Sebastian, the sniper reached forward and undid his fly and then pulled him down to continue kissing him as they awkwardly worked together to remove Jim's trousers.

The consulting criminal moved his head lower to Sebastian's jaw bone and kissed him there as he moved down to his neck and then his collar bone where he left a few innocuous bite marks, just for fun. He slid his hands down to the sniper's boxer briefs and in one motion lowered them and then left it up to Sebastian to finish the job as he continued to kiss his chest and then went lower to his chiseled stomach.

"Fucking Christ, you must be really pleased with me, boss." Sebastian gasped out as Jim ignored him and continued what he had started. Having finally made his way all the way down to the other man's erection, Sebastian gasped audibly once again as he felt his lover's warm mouth on his erect penis. He put one large hand at the back of Jim's head and tried to focus because he didn't want it to be over so soon and that seemed very possible. Minutes later he arched his back as waves of pleasure rolled through him and he held on a little tighter to the back of Jim's head.

Some time later the two men were lying naked, smoking and feeling completely satisfied. Sebastian was pleased to return the favor for his boss with just as much finesse as he had received. Now, neither of the men had much energy to do anything, not even move to the bedroom. Jim had leaned across Sebastian to crush out his cigarette in the ash tray, when he laid back down he made sure to lay his dark head under the other man's jaw. Sebastian kissed him on the top of his head, breathing in his shampoo and hair product, then he broke the comfortable silence.

"Everything went as planned, I assume?" The sky outside the bank of windows was becoming tinged with pink as dawn was a very short time away.

"Yes. I learned quite a bit of useful information. Holmes will be tricky to bring down but I feel confident that I have everything I need. I'm not concerning myself with him for the moment though, we have a new client."

Sebastian arched his eyebrows in the dark, "Really? Who might this new client be, then?"

Sebastian could feel the other man's face break into a smile against his rough, unshaven neck.

"Her name is Irene Adler, Maybe you've heard of her? She is a business woman of a very...unique...kind. She's a Dominatrix, you see, for the higher class. Her services don't come cheap. It would appear that she has photos of a, uhhhh, sensitive nature regarding a young female member of our beloved royal family. I have decided to set my sights higher than some two-bit consulting detective. It's his brother I'm after now, Mycroft Holmes...The Iceman...The British government itself." Jim laughed dryly.

"So, these photos that this Adler woman has, you plan to use them against Mycroft? I don't understand, why would he care?"

"Because, tiger, his precious royal family would have one of the biggest scandals in history and Mycroft's world would simply crumble if he ever allowed that to happen. Plus, I have some weak information involving a terrorist plot and how the government plans to diffuse it but it's nothing solid. Miss Adler feels certain she could get that information by using her photographs as leverage. It's a dangerous game, one I simply can't wait to begin playing."

Sebastian sighed an kissed Jim on the top of his head once more. "You have the grandest ambitions pussycat. I'm going to have a shower and then catch a few hours of sleep, coming?"

Jim sat up, "No, you go on. I'll be along soon."

Sebastian stood up and, looking down at his boss who was still naked with a throw blanket twisted all around him, he said, "Get some rest, boss." Jim just smirked annoyingly at him.


	5. Chapter 5

When Sebastian woke some hours later he found a note on the island in the kitchen written in Jim's scrawling, messy script; it said, " _Had some business to attend with The Woman.  Don't call or text I will be back as soon as possible.  I haven't gone alone."_

Sebastian sighed and looked at his watch, it was just about two in the afternoon but there was nothing he could do besides wait for the bloody idiot to come home.  He took out his lap top and decided to give her website a look and see what she was all about.  Irene Adler, The Woman as Jim called her, was indeed a Dominatrix.  Her website showed that she offered a wide variety of "services" if one was prepared to pay handsomely.  As he scrolled through her site he lost track of time and was therefore startled when he heard a key in the lock nearly an hour later.  Jim entered the kitchen wearing a very pleased look on his expressive face and he came around to stand behind Sebastian and kiss him behind his ear.

"You're in a good mood."  The sniper observed.

"And you have found Miss. Adler's website.  What do you think, my dear?"

"Seems a bit absurd, I guess there are plenty of people who would pay for that sort of thing but I've grown accustomed to getting mine for free." He spun on the bar stool as he was speaking and pulled Jim in close to force him to stand between his spread legs and he kissed him intently.  Jim pulled away first, looking annoyed, and straightening his suit he walked to the bar stool opposite Sebastian.  The gunman looked disappointed but he spun around to keep his eyes on Jim.

"Tell me about your meeting with 'The Woman' then, since you refuse to be distracted."

Jim's face lit up at this and he became animated again and was simply bursting with excitement.  Sebastian couldn't stop himself from smiling widely as he listened to Jim recount the meeting he had just had, his eyes were alight with interest, something that did not happen often, unfortunately.

"I have them both where I want them, Seb.  Mycroft is going to force his baby brother to get involved and help to retrieve these photos from The Woman.  She is rather clever as well, in fact, she is quite good.  I'm pleased to have the chance to work with her. I think she will go far and I would happily fund future endeavors if all goes well with this current affair.  At the moment, however, we must wait."

Sebastian just sat smiling at his boss for a moment and then he leaned forward and said, "The way you speak of her she must be really quite remarkable.  I'm looking forward to meeting her."

Jim's face changed with inhuman speed, the glint in his dark eyes faded and his smile turned ice cold.  "You never will Sebastian.  I don't want you involved in this one.  Is that understood?"

Sebastian was puzzled and a little annoyed but, wanting to avoid yet another argument, he simply agreed and kept his irritation to himself.  Having that out of the way the two men agreed to cook dinner in that night and have a quiet night at home since things had been so crazy recently they both felt they needed a rest.  Sebastian was, not surprisingly, concerned because Jim didn't typically do well with quiet, boring nights in.  Luckily they were able to find ways to stay busy for the evening and Jim even left his mobile in his office instead on him like usual.

The following day Sebastian awoke early, just after sunrise, so he decided to go for a run which was something he hadn't done in a long time.  He'd been too busy trying not to allow Jim out of his sight for longer than was needed but he figured that today Jim would sleep a while longer and he would never even miss his sniper's presence.  As he ran at a steady pace along the The Thames his thoughts were only for the man lying asleep at home, as time passed he was becoming more and more anxious about him.  He loved him, god help him it was against all his instincts but there it was, plain and simple.  Sebastian Moran was irreversibly in love with Jim Moriarty and there was no turning back now, he figured he may as well admit it, at least to himself.  He knew the game was over and he also knew that even if he lived for another fifty years (which he highly doubted) that he would never love another human being the way he loved that terrifyingly absurd man.

What Sebastian was most afraid of though was Jim's mental stability, it was evident that he suffered from some form of mental illness, possibly it was bi-polar disease, maybe paranoid schizophrenia, he really didn't know.  It scared him to his very core because he felt certain that one day he would lose him because of it and although he was prepared to deal with anything when it came to Jim, he had no idea how. The more time they spent together, the more Sebastian glimpsed the demons within and how they haunted the soul of the criminal genius.

He turned and made his way back home after only a few short miles, as he had been running and thinking he couldn't ignore the nagging sensation that had begun in the pit of his stomach and he felt that he just needed to lay his eyes on the man.  He decided on his return trip that, for now, he would just do everything in his power to protect the man and he would just have to pray to whomever was listening that it would be enough.  Sebastian was now aware that if he lost Jim it would mean the end of his life too because they had become inextricably linked.

When he finally entered the flat, sweaty and tired, he found Jim sitting at the island in the kitchen reading the newspaper, already showered and dressed.  He looked up as Sebastian entered and grinned crookedly at him, it was going to be a good day then, Sebastian thought happily.

"Had a good run?"  He asked sounding as though he actually cared.  Sebastian grabbed a water from the fridge and winced as he turned to lean on the counter, feeling his muscles cramping slightly at the over exertion.

"Yes, it had been too long.  I expected you to sleep longer, busy day?"

"Not particularly, its all a bit boring, isn't it?  Sometimes I wonder...well...never mind."

Sebastian arched his eyebrows at Jim and decided it was time to change topic, he didn't like the look that just recently passed over his boss's face.  It was dark.

"You should come with me tomorrow for a run.  You forget how enjoyable it is."

Jim ignored him as he had gone back to reading his paper, Sebastian stood and stared at him for some time wanting nothing more than to just know what was going on inside his head and to be able to help him.  After a few more silent minutes he decided that he desperately needed a shower and he headed for the bathroom, still lost in his own twisted thoughts.

The next few days passed uneventfully and Sebastian had started to feel slightly less anxious until one day he came back to the flat after meeting with a few of Jim's hired guns to settle some debts and he found Jim on the floor in front of the fireplace with photos and documents strewn everywhere.  His dark hair was ruffled and messy, he wasn't wearing his suit coat and his tie had been loosened.  His gun was lying carelessly next to him on the hearth and when he looked up at Sebastian the sniper felt true terror.  without a thought for his own safety he darted to him and grabbed him in his strong arms and held tightly, holding on for dear life.  Jim was shaking like a leaf, Sebastian could hear his teeth chattering in his skull.

"It's useless, it's all  _fucking_ useless."

"It's alright, shhh.  I'm here now, tell me what's wrong."

"Everything!!! It's all  _FUCKING WRONG!!_ "

"Just tell me what to do, Jim."  Sebastian responded without ever loosening his grip, riddled with fear.

Jim's voice floated hauntingly up to him though it was barely above a whisper and his head was pressed into Sebastian's solid chest.  " _Kill me._ "

Sebastian felt as though someone had poured ice water over his head and he found that he was unable to even respond so he just held on tighter.  Jim's voice broke through his agony again.

"I mean it Seb.  Its so boring, existing.  Do this for me if you care about me at all."

The Colonel felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes and he was eternally grateful that Jim's head was tucked firmly under his chin and he couldn't see the agonized expression on his sniper's face.  "No." was all he said, all he was able to say without his voice cracking and giving him away.

"That's an order Sebastian.  I mean it." Jim responded as he struggled feebly to get away and look at the man holding him.

"Then fire me, kill me, kick me out, tell me never to come around again, I don't care but I  _WILL NOT_ follow that order.  Not ever."

They sat that way for a long time then, Sebastian lost feeling in his legs from the position in which he was sitting but he didn't care, he would stay here for the rest of his life if need be.  Neither one said a word for a long time then finally Jim spoke again and his voice was painfully subdued and more human than Sebastian had ever heard him.

"You know I am going to die someday, right Seb?  I don't mean far in the future, I've always known I would die young, it is in the nature of what I do and if it means that I could rid the world of that consulting detective as well then maybe I'll wait a little longer."

Willing himself not to break down with a super human strength he held on a little tighter.  Jim wiggled in his arms and was able to look up into his face with a small smile and Sebastian just leaned down and kissed his forehead as a tear slipped from the corner of his eye against his will.

"I'm alright now tiger.  I promise I won't do anything, you can let go."

Sebastian loosened his grip only slightly still unwilling to let him go completely.  He felt Jim's shoulders shaking and he looked down, puzzled.  He was laughing!

"Are you really so obvious, in the end? I'm not afraid Sebastian, nor should you be. Look at you, you really care, don't you?"

"Being obvious isn't always so terrible pussycat.  Yes, you're right, I do care.  I care a whole fucking lot and I think it's time you accepted that as a fact.  When I took this job your life became mine and I will  _NEVER_ give it up without a fight.  Understand?"

He hadn't even bothered to stop the tears from spilling over this time, he found he no longer cared.  He grabbed Jim's face in both of his large hands and kissed him fiercely, tasting him and knowing that he himself must taste salty from the recent tears.  When he finally pulled back Jim reached up and wiped the tears away and Sebastian smiled weakly in return.

"I love you, you fucking idiot."

"I know."  Was Jim's reply as he sat up straight and looked around at the mess he had made earlier in his tantrum.  He looked over at Sebastian who still hadn't moved or taken his eyes away from Jim's face.

"Well, I could use a drink, how about you?"  With that, he stood up and headed toward his room, presumably to change into an unwrinkled, expensive suit in order to go out.  

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tear my heart open  
> I sew myself shut  
> My weakness is   
> That I care too much  
> Our scars remind us that the past is real  
> I tear my heart open just to feel

That night and over the next few weeks Sebastian barely closed his eyes for longer than an hour or two at a clip. fearing that if he did so he would awake to certain tragedy.  He lost close to fifteen pounds and developed dark circles under his eyes due to the stress and lack of sleep.  Jim, for his part, hadn't shown any further signs of attempted suicide since but Sebastian wasn't that easily fooled.

Jim had been very busy of late with this business of consulting with The Woman so Sebastian was surprised when, on a sunny afternoon, Jim came to him and asked him to come out for lunch.  He would, of course, never refuse.  They went to a small bistro near the Parliament building, a place Jim said he used to frequent.  After finishing their lunch they took a walk since it was such a rarely sunny day in London.  As they were walking Sebastian heard Jim's mobile alert telling him he had a new text.  the criminal stopped on the pavement and pulled it from his pocket, although he was wearing darkly tinted sunglasses Sebastian could see his eyes light up as he read the text.  He tapped something in, hit send and the two men made their way back home.

When they finally reached their flat Sebastian was unable to contain himself any longer.  He grabbed Jim by his forearm and held him there, just inside the threshold.

"Jim, I'm dying here, please, tell me."

With that little prompt Jim happily explained about the jumbo jet and how he now found himself in a position to ruin it all for Mycroft and his baby brother too since he was the one who deciphered the e-mail for Ms. Adler.  He did admit that he harbored some doubts concerning The Woman and her relationship with the detective.  He referred to Holmes as 'The Virgin' but perhaps he was wrong or, perhaps, Irene was simply capable of changing the man.  Whatever happened, at least he had The Iceman where he wanted him. He would be able to watch him squirm and that brought him considerable joy.

Over the next few days however, Jim's mood began to turn black once more and Sebastian found himself being unable to eat or sleep again.  Jim refused to speak to him or anyone else for that matter and he too seemed to have stopped eating or sleeping regularly.  The mastermind's face turned gaunt and took on a distinctly haunted appearance, almost skeletal.  Sebastian stayed a safe distance away because he didn't want to cause a fight and upset Jim any further but he never let the man out of his eye sight for more than a few seconds.

When Jim  _did_ speak it was to mutter under his breath and although Sebastian wasn't always able to discern the words he almost always was able to hear the detective's name.  The Colonel walked in one day to overhear a phone conversation, something that hadn't happened lately, he was startled by what he heard.

"You're telling me that the bitch isn't  _actually_ dead,  _again_?  I see."  Jim tapped the 'end' icon on his mobile and he looked up at Sebastian who was standing, dumbstruck.

"She is much cleverer than I gave her credit for.  That's ok, it's all good.  She may come in handy some day.  I'm going out, without you,  I'll take Harrington, no arguments."

With that he stood and as he passed Sebastian he kissed him tenderly on his cheek, a show of intimacy that had been non-existent over the past few weeks.  Sebastian felt sick, his knees were weak and as he stood listening to the sounds of Jim leaving the flat he wondered how ill advised he would be if he followed, discreetly.  Just as he had made up his mind that he would deal with whatever Jim dealt out later and he was going to follow him his mobile alerted him of a new text message.  He dug it from his trouser pocket and read the message.

_-Stay where you are.  Mr. Moriarty has been apprehended, he informed me beforehand that this was his plan.  Await further instructions.-H_

Sebastian's world had gone hazy and the edges were tinged with red as he could feel his knees begin to shake.  His vision cleared, as it always did, and he shouted at the top of his voice, a bone chilling thing to hear.

" **FUCK!!!!!!!** "

He stood in the living area and spun on the spot with his hands on his head, tugging at his hair.  He was a man who always had a plan, he was always in charge and now he was completely helpless and he felt like he would crawl right out of his skin.  Jim had been taken, presumably by Mycroft's men, they would most certainly torture him for information and Sebastian stood in the posh flat, powerless to do anything.  He took several deep, steadying breaths and tried to clear his wild and jumbled thoughts.  He just knew that Jim was not going to be treated fairly or civilly, the whole affair would be very hushed up because the government had no good reason for bringing him in, they could not honestly link him to anything.  The fact was that Mycroft wanted information and he would get it in any way possible.  Sebastian was devastated to his core at his failure to keep Jim safe.

He put his head in his hands and just kept muttering, "think,  _think,_   **THINK!!!** "  He just had to do something!  Just then there was a ring at the bell and he ran to see who it was.  It was Harrington, the "protection detail" who had gone out with Jim earlier.  Sebastian let him into the flat and the man was immediately aware of the panicked look on Sebastian's face, the relationship between the sniper and the magnate was not a secret by any means but no one talked of it either.  Because of this, Harrington was not surprised by the murderous look on the other man's face.  As soon as he entered the flat Sebastian grabbed him by the lapels of his suit coat and slammed him into the wall, holding him firmly there.

" **WHERE THE FUCK HAVE THEY TAKEN HIM?????** You were supposed to protect him GOD DAMN IT!!!"  Sebastian shouted at the frightened man in his grip, he was only inches away from his face and Harrington found the sight terrifying.

"Ple-please, Mr. Moran, let me explain.  Please, I promise, I only did as I was told."

Sebastian loosened his grip on the other man, only slightly and he didn't let him away from the wall where he had pinned him.  Through gritted teeth he responded.

"Explain, make it quick."

"This is all Mr. Moriarty's plan, sir.  He knew they were coming for him and he wanted to stay a step ahead, as always.  He told me that he needed Mycroft Holmes and his men to lay their hands on him because he needed information and that was the only way he was going to obtain it, by becoming their prisoner and playing their game and letting them believe it was so.  I was ordered to stay well back and to find out where they were taking him, just in case."

Now Sebastian released the man completely and he stood numbly running his hand through his hair as he contemplated this new information.  He felt as though he were viewing the whole thing through someone else's eyes.  After a bit he turned his attention back to Harrington who still stood against the wall, his suit coat wrinkled from where Sebastian had held him in his grip.

"Where?  Where have they taken him?  _QUICKLY!!_ "

The man looked as though he would like nothing better than to crawl into a hole and hide for a month or, at the very least, until Sebastian's rage simmered down.  Without looking Sebastian in the eye he answered in a low voice.

"I-I'm not supposed to tell you sir, not unless they keep him for longer than a week. Mr. Moriarty said that, if after seven days, they haven't released him then I was to give you the information to find him and you were then free to retrieve him.  He explained that he did not actually expect them to keep him for that long."  The man was cowering against the wall as he finished speaking, Sebastian half felt like attacking the man but then realized that it would do no good for anyone so he turned away from him, rubbing his hand repeatedly over his jaw.  Without turning back to look at the frightened henchman he said,

"Leave."

Harrington did not need to be told more than once, he bolted.  Sebastian went to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink and drank it all down in one swallow while watching the sky outside turn slowly darker.  Several hours later Sebastian could be found slumped on the sofa still clothed and his hand barely holding on to the empty glass as he slept fitfully, dreaming of Jim and how he must be handling his treatment.  A noise somewhere near his empty right hand awoke him and he bolted upright to discover that it was his mobile ringing.  He didn't recognize the number but he answered anyways.

"Yes?"  He was rightfully wary of using his real name until he ascertained who the caller was.

"Colonel Moran?" Asked a gruff, unfamiliar voice from the other end of the line.

"Who is this?"  Sebastian asked in return.

"A friendly party, with information."  Said the man, Sebastian was all ears.  "Your boss is safe, for now, however I don't imagine Mr. Holmes will keep him that way forever.  He wants information and he plans on getting it."

Sebastian could feel his stomach clench and he felt a tingling over his entire body as he listened, imagining Jim being held and beaten.

"If you work for Holmes, why are you contacting me and who the hell are you?"  He asked once again, not actually anticipating an answer.

"Like I said, friendly party, just be glad I'm here.  I'm the only one who is in a position to ensure his continued , relative safety.  I need you, in three days time, to meet me.  I will send the details along to you, do you agree?"

"Yes." Sebastian agreed without hesitation.

"Good, until then I need you to keep your head down and don't do anything stupid, understand?"

Sebastian didn't reply he simply disconnected.

Over the next seventy two hours Sebastian paced the flat like a caged tiger at a zoo, when he couldn't stand staying in for a second longer he would go to the pub or just go out and prowl the streets but nothing held him for very long.  He was so anxious and keyed up that he felt as if he might jump out of his skin.  Internally, he chastised himself for acting like some love sick puppy but he also told himself that it wasn't just that, Jim was also a job and right now he had  _failed,_ something he never did.  Finally the agonizing waiting ended around noon on the third day when Sebastian's mobile buzzed from the bedside table startling him from his half sleep.  It was an unknown number that sent the message containing details of where he should be in an hour and said nothing else.  He leapt from the bed and hurriedly showered and dressed in a black suit, white shirt and his favorite, blood red tie in less than twenty minutes having skipped the shave so he had a ginger, three day beard.  He left the flat grabbing his pistol, sunglasses, mobile and keys with plenty of time to spare, the location wasn't far.

Upon reaching his destination, a vacant car park which was now overgrown and quite desolate, he stayed in the comfortable back seat of the Rolls Royce and stared out of the darkly tinted windows, feeling very anxious.  His hand kept going to the inside pocket of his coat and feeling the solidly cold reassurance of his gun.  After about a quarter of an hour he began to get irritated and he found he was no longer able to sit still so he decided to wait outside the car and to hell with his own safety.  As he put his hand on the door however a shiny black BMW with tinted windows rolled into the unkempt lot.  Sebastian got quickly out and put his glasses on as he buttoned his coat with his leather clad hand.  He stood next to the Rolls waiting.

A tall, heavily built man that Sebastian put somewhere around fifty, stepped from the passenger side of the BMW.  He wore a cheap suit, Sebastian laughed to himself as he realized how snobbish Jim had made him,  the man also wore sunglasses and he had an earpiece in which was visible even from a distance, so, no secrets then, he thought.  The man stood across the lot and Sebastian felt sure that he was being sized up and he smirked, finally the man approached and held his hand out to shake with the sniper.  Sebastian ignored it.

Dropping his hand back to his side he said, "Colonel Moran, I must tell you that if we were meeting under different circumstances I would either offer you a job or be slapping bracelets on you."

Sebastian now smiled his widest, toothiest grin and replied, "I'm sure I'd have to decline both offers.  Let's get to business, shall we?"

The man looked annoyed at the Colonel's cocky attitude but he let the moment pass admirably.

"I've come to return Mr. Moriarty to you.  Mr. Holmes was unable to charge him with anything and is therefore forced to release him.  I must say that he may not have fared so well had I not been present and I feel certain they would have kept him longer."

Sebastian was confused and annoyed by this babbling government moron and he wanted nothing more than to finally lay eyes on Jim just for the proof that he was really alright.

"Who are you, and  _why_ do you care what happens to Mr. Moriarty?  It doesn't add up, especially since you work for Holmes."

"I work for the British government, Moran, not for Mr. Holmes.  I simply admire your boss's work and I feel the Holmes brothers have gone on unchecked for far too long.  I don't agree with Mycroft's politics.  We're all just chess pieces, you know?  I've decided to learn how to play the game after all these years and I think a man like your boss may be just what we need.  A checkmate, so to speak.  Don't leave the country, yeah?"

Sebastian just smiled again and behind his sunglasses his eyes were continually darting to the shiny black car that held Jim.  He was becoming more and more anxious and he didn't trust himself to say another word.  The man must have understood his silence and he turned to car, motioning to someone inside.  The back door opened and another man, also attired in a cheap suit and sporting an ear piece stepped out and held the door while Jim got out into the weak afternoon sunlight.  Sebastian felt his heart plummet and land somewhere around his navel, Jim was a mess.  He had on his dark blue Westwood trousers and his shiny dark dress shoes which were no longer shiny and he was only wearing a white undershirt, his dress shirt, suit coat and tie were missing.  He had a black eye and his usually glossy dark hair was disheveled but somehow, by some inhuman power he looked as smug as ever as he strolled across the lot.

The two government men stood leaning against the shiny car watching Jim saunter over to Sebastian where he stood beside the Rolls Royce.  Jim went straight past him and opened the door to slide into the luxurious comfort of the soft leather.  Sebastian glance across at the two men one last time, committing them to memory, then he slid into the car next to his boss.

The drive home was silent and Jim sat rubbing his jaw as he looked out the window as London flashed by in a blur.  When they reached the flat Jim got out without uttering a single syllable and Sebastian took a deep breath as he followed.  By the time he got inside Jim was no where to be seen so Sebastian assumed that he was showering.  He hung his coat on the hook and went to the bar to pour himself a drink, desperately needing one.  He was standing with his back to the room and facing the bank of windows that looked out over the city when he heard a soft sound and he turned.  Jim was standing with a towel around his waist and drying his hair with another one, faint bruising on his torso was visible and Sebastian felt his hand begin to shake.

"I imagine you're angry with me, tiger.  Am I right?"  He asked with an innocent expression on his face.

Sebastian smiled sarcastically in disbelief and he was aware of the faint buzzing that had begun in his ears.  With an enormous effort he remained relatively calm.

"Nice fucking deduction, Sherlock Holmes would be proud.  I hope you plan on explaining."  He stood waiting and Jim didn't respond immediately, instead he went to the bar and slowly poured himself a drink.  Sebastian didn't take his eyes off the man and he knew that Jim could feel it.

"I couldn't allow you in Seb, you get too heated when it comes to my safety.  I needed to do what I did."

Sebastian swallowed hard and clenched his hand at his side into a fist.

"And that's a bad fucking thing, is it?"  He said in a trembling voice through gritted teeth, his German accent becoming thick.

Jim stood at the bar, sipping his drink and staring indolently at Sebastian who was becoming more and more angry as the time ticked by silently.

"Sebastian, you need to understand something.  We may fuck occasionally but you are still my  _employee_ and I am trying to run a business.  Sometimes I must do things that I find unpleasant, things that you may not like or agree with but it is not your call."

Sebastian could feel the ice forming in the pit of his stomach as Jim spoke and his rage was slowly turning to disbelief and then slowly into something that felt more and more like dislike, hatred, even.  He took yet another deep breath.

"I see."  He unclenched his fist and set his drink down on the table, standing up straighter and feeling completely calm.

"Oh, Sebastian, I can see that look on your face.  Don't be so boring and so... _obvious._  No need to be so damn emotional."  His Irish accent was positively dripping with contempt.  Sebastian nodded and looked into those wonderfully, terrifying dark eyes for a long time, finally he answered.

"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again, I assure you.  Its good to have you back."  He then turned his back on the criminal and he heard Jim place his glass on the bar with a thud and then he could tell he had left the room, probably going to get dressed.  Sebastian felt absolutely hollow inside.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian knew that Jim was right and that he did, in fact, get too emotional when it came to the man himself and he also knew that he never allowed his  _heart_ to get in the way before, he had always lived assuming that he was heartless, it seemed he had been wrong.  He now planned to remedy that, he would listen to what Jim had to tell him about his time in captivity and then he would leave, he absolutely must cut ties with this man before they destroyed one another.  Roughly thirty minutes later Jim entered the office where Sebastian stood waiting and he was once more dressed as impeccably as ever in a light colored Westwood suit and his hair was once more groomed making him look like the criminal mastermind that he was.  His faint black eye only added to the formidable appearance of the man and he wore it like no one else could.

He walked around his desk and seated himself like a king in the mahogany chair, steepling his long, white fingers under his chin he regarded Sebastian for a long time before speaking.  Finally, something in his unfathomable eyes shifted and he began to speak, his Irish lilt softening the lash of his forked tongue.  Sebastian stood with his hands clasped behind his back and his chest out, feeling a knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach.

"It's about to begin Sebastian, the fall of the world's only consulting detective and I will be there to watch it all...with a front row seat.  I'm the one responsible for bringing it about."

Sebastian didn't respond, it was evident that his boss hadn't finished his monologue and he was in no rush to provide the man with another reason to berate him, so he waited.

"All my life Sebastian, I have been intolerably  _bored_...bored to the point of tears one might say.  Since my little game with Sherlock Holmes began all those months ago I have finally felt that I have met...maybe not my equal...but certainly something very close.  I have  _so_ enjoyed the little dance thus far, now it's time to move on.  Over the next few weeks things are going to begin, you will be updated as we go.  Do you understand?"

Sebastian nodded curtly and then decided that he needed to say one thing, just to clear his own conscience.

"Sir, if I may speak freely?"  Jim was smiling sarcastically and he just nodded once in agreement.  "I know I have said so before and I also know that you disagree with me but I feel I must say it again, Holmes is dangerous.  I think he is much cleverer than either of us give him credit for and...I worry...I worry that perhaps you are underestimating him."

He finished somewhat lamely.

Sebastian had barely finished speaking before Jim had sprung from his chair with the agility and speed of a tiger pouncing on its prey.  He had come around the desk and he now had Sebastian pinned to the wall, he held him in place with a cold, long fingered hand on the sniper's broad chest.

"I have told you once and this will be the last time.  Know...your...position.  I could easily have a leash around your pretty little neck, tiger of mine.  Do  _not_ presume to advise me on things you no longer understand.  You belong to me and I don't pay you to think."  

As he spoke he had brought his hand up to lovingly caress Sebastian's neck.  Sebastian was legitimately frightened by the man, up close the whites of his eyes had taken on a distinctly yellow cast and the bruising around his eye was more profound than Sebastian had originally thought.  Apart from the physical appearance of the smaller man, Sebastian was also aware that he once more had that manic glint in his eyes that he had first noticed on that horrible day when Sebastian had found him on the floor of his flat about to commit suicide.  For the first time ever Colonel Sebastian Moran was defeated/

"I do apologize, sir.  As I said earlier, I won't step out of line again. Please forgive me."

Jim grinned horribly at him and turned to walk back to his desk, he waved his hand dismissively as he went.

"Go on, leave."

Sebastian left, not just Jim Moriarty's office but his life as well.  At least that was what he told himself.  For probably the millionth time and what Sebastian told himself would be the last, he had left Jim.  He was completely fed up with the constant and volatile fighting, not just over important things but over everything.

He once more returned to his small flat, laughing humorlessly to himself as he realized how thankful he was that he had never given up his own place.  He had needed a place to crash quite often during his time being in a relationship (if you could call it a relationship) with Jim.  As the hours ticked by agonizingly and Sebastian sank further and further into the depths of his whiskey bottle, he was painfully aware that he hadn't heard a peep from Jim which meant that he hadn't even noticed the sniper's absence.  The thought caused him to drink more of the whiskey that he had been planning on putting away.  Another hour passed and it turned from dusk into full blown evening, the street lamps were the only source of light inside his flat since he hadn't bothered to turn any lights on.  He finally fished his mobile from his trouser pocket and dialed a number that he hadn't really ever expected to use again.

When the pretty blonde girl knocked on his door a short time later, he had managed to actually shower and change his clothes.  He didn't wear a suit when he wasn't with Jim so he felt more comfortable in his dark jeans and tightly fitted t-shirt.  He opened the door to let her in, her blonde hair was wavy and fell just below her shoulders and she was wearing a snug black dress with shiny black stilettos.  She smiled at him and although he had planned on taking her out, the next thing he knew her bright red lips were on his and they were fumbling in the darkness.  A while later as the were lying naked, she had curled against his body and rested her head on his chest using her hand to trace the outline of his tiger. Sebastian realized that, although she was great for the mindless sex and was a minor distraction, his thoughts inevitably returned to Jim.   He spent the next few days like that, almost continually drunk and realized vaguely that if he didn't make some changes soon he was bound to self destruct.  He was allowing Jim to destroy him inch by tiny inch and he couldn't allow that, he was stronger than that.  After about five days of living that way he awoke one morning and decided it was time, so he did the one thing he always did when he needed to start anew and clear his mind, he went for a run.  Following that he returned home to shower and start his life over, without Jim.  When he walked out of his tiny bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist he was quite shocked to see his former boss sitting languidly in the armchair and looking bored.

"So, this is where you call... _home,_ tiger?"  He looked around with distaste etched all over his sharp features.

"What the fuck are you doing here Jim?"  He asked as he stood dripping in the doorway.

"Haven't heard from you in a few days and daddy gets bored.  Thought I'd go on a tiger hunt of my own."  He replied with sarcasm layered so thickly Sebastian felt he could have sliced it with a knife.

Sebastian smiled crookedly at the man as he vowed internally not to allow himself to be dragged back.  His heart rate had accelerated and he could feel his palms getting sweaty like a junkie looking for his next fix.  Outwardly he was the picture of calm, appearing almost cocky.  Jim had never once taken his dark eyes from the sniper's face as though he were x-raying him.

"I'm not doing this again Jim.  I can't and I won't, so please, leave."

Jim's face never even changed expression, telling Sebastian that his words were not as convincing as he had hoped they would be.  For lack of anything else to do under that scrutinizing stare he turned on the spot and looked all around the room for the clothes he had laid out prior to getting in the shower.  When he turned back around, Jim had gotten silently up and he was now standing directly in front of Sebastian.  He sensually caressed the Bengal tiger on Sebastian's chest with cold fingers as he looked up into the cold, gray eyes of his once lover.  Sebastian could already feel his resolve slipping and he mentally chastised himself.  Jim's hand had stilled but he now rested it gently on the body of the tiger, never once averting his gaze.  No words were exchanged, they simply stood that way for a long time and finally Jim moved a step closer, bringing their bodies together,  he put his left hand at the nape of Sebastian's neck while he put his right hand on the man's waist, pulling them even closer.  Using the hand on his sniper's neck he gently pulled him lower so that he could put his mouth right at his ear and whispered softly.

"Holiday's over, time to come home, tiger."

His words were just a hiss and Sebastian could feel himself getting lightheaded as he breathed in Jim's intoxicating scent and,  _Christ,_ he had actually forgotten how much he desired this man.  Sebastian exhaled in a puff and he wrapped his arms around the criminal and forced him to turn his head to bring their lips together.  Sebastian also marveled at how he had forgotten how much he loved the taste of him and the feel of him and every god damn thing about him.  It was simply amazing how it was possible to love someone and also hate someone with the very same amount of vigor.

A few minutes later when Sebastian had allowed Jim to pull away, only slightly, Jim was smiling his Cheshire Cat grin, the one that always said  _victory._ Jim looked down and then back up smiling even wider and arching his eyebrows he said, "You seem to have dropped your towel."

Sebastian ignored him and just smiled back at him as he moved away to get dressed not even bothering to pick up the towel and cover himself.  He felt it would be good for Jim to lust after him for a change and he knew it was working because he could feel the other man's eyes boring into him as he moved around the room gathering his things.  Ten minutes later he was dressed and groomed once more and he came to sit across from Jim on the sofa.

"So, where are we?"  He asked his boss and he knew Jim would know exactly what he meant.

"Everything is in place, it is about to begin, very soon.  The fall of Sherlock Holmes, the world's only  _consulting detective."_

"You really do love being dramatic.  Tell me what you need from me and I'll do it."

Jim stood and came to sit right next to Sebastian, caressing the Colonel's inner thigh as he sat and he began outlining all the plans that had been made and not skipping any detail.  Sebastian couldn't help but notice that the lines around Jim's eyes seemed deeper than they had been and that manic glint in his eyes was more intense than it had ever been.  He put his own larger hand on top of Jim's where it rested on his leg and he twined their fingers together, a show of intimacy that he had never done before and he wasn't really sure why he did it now except on impulse.  Jim was obviously startled by it as well because he had stopped speaking and was now looking at Sebastian in amazement.  Without thinking any further he pulled Jim even closer to him and cupped his face in both of his hands and kissed him deeply.  He kissed Jim with such passion as he had never before done, trying with his tongue and his caresses to convey just how much he needed the man and just how much he was desperately fighting to keep him.

Sebastian was pleased when Jim responded to the kiss in kind, using his tongue to explore Sebastian's mouth as though he were trying to remember every detail.  It wasn't lustful or frenzied the way their romance and sex usually was, this was pure love, love that neither of them would ever outwardly state yet they both knew.  Jim pulled back a short time later and then leaned in again but this time he very gently and affectionately kissed Sebastian's ear and neck and he felt the man shiver slightly making Jim smile against Sebastian's clean shaven neck.  He moved along his strong jaw and then came back to his mouth where he went back to passionately kissing the man.

A half hour later, just short of removing their clothing, Sebastian laid back on the sofa and Jim laid his dark head on his chest briefly.  As he laid staring up at the ceiling he ran his hand over the back of Jim's head protectively.

"Why do we do this?"  He asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Do what, tiger?"  Jim asked in a mock innocent tone of voice.

"Tear one another apart time and time again."

"Boredom.  Proximity.  Many reasons, my darling."  Was the criminal's unsatisfactory answer.

Sebastian sighed and sat up, forcing Jim to do so too.  Jim looked up into the face of his sniper and said, "C'mon, let's go home, shall we?"

Jim grinned and stood, brushing off his suit and straightening his loosened tie.

Near the end of that week Sebastian had become used to Jim laughing out loud at news articles involving Holmes who had become something of a celebrity.  The one that Jim loved the most was the return of the famous " _Falls of the Reichenbach"._

One morning they awoke early, with the sunrise, after having spent the previous day and night in bed.  The only time they left was to get food or drink and then they came right back and usually resumed where they had left off.  Sebastian could hardly remember a time when he had felt so happy and satisfied or a time when Jim smiled so much.  Upon waking, Jim rolled over and began to kiss Sebastian's hard chest and the man sighed contentedly as he felt Jim's soft hands on him.  As he laid there he closed his eyes while allowing himself to feel completely happy.  Jim's wonderful Irish accent floated into his senses and he opened his eyes.

"My, my tiger.  I really didn't expect you to have the ability after yesterday, will you ever cease to surprise me?"

Sebastian bit his lip and then answered.

"Shut up, you bastard."

After that there wasn't much time for talking as the two men used the time to once more explore every inch of the other's body,  since Sebastian's return their lovemaking had taken on a completely different method, it was much less frenzied and animal like and much more sweet and loving.  Sebastian found himself once again marveling at how much he truly adored the man who was lying on his stomach beneath him.  Some time later when they were both lying naked and out of breath Sebastian was shocked to feel Jim's hand seek his out on top of the covers.  He smiled widely and gripped his hand firmly wanting to convey just how much that little gesture meant.  Finally Jim's voice broke through his hazy and happy thoughts.

"Today's the day, Seb.  You will be at the tower, right?"

Sebastian sighed deeply as he felt ice settle in his stomach. "Yes, of course.  You have it all planned down to the most minute detail, right?  Because, Jim, there is  _absolutely_ zero room for error.  I won't allow it." 

Sebastian had rolled over now and he was leaning over Jim as he still laid on his back, grinning slightly.  Sebastian leaned down and kissed his criminal on his jaw, just below his ear.  Jim put one hand on the back of his head and held it there momentarily.

"You are such a protective, mama tigress sometimes, Sebastian.  Of course its all planned out perfectly I just need you and everyone else to follow their orders, that's all."  He paused and then he said, "I do love you tiger, do you know that?"

Sebastian nearly choked, Jim had _NEVER_ said those words aloud before, yes it was true that the two men did love one another but they had never actually professed it so simply and in such a straightforward fashion.  Sebastian looked deep into Jim's big brown eyes in amazement then he leaned in for one final, fierce kiss, never wanting to stop.  After a few minutes, however, they did have to break apart in order to breathe and because there were many things to do today.  Jim chuckled then, having felt Sebastian's erection once again, he said,

"I'm sorry tiger, but we really don't have time right now.  You'll just have to hold out for a while, d'you think you can do that for me?"

Sebastian leaned in to kiss him briefly and then he rolled off of Jim to lie on his back next to him.

"No one else in the world does this to me, pussycat.  I think I can wait."

Jim laughed again as he got up and headed for the bathroom to shower.  He stopped in the doorway and turned to see Sebastian ogling him so he smiled wryly back at him.

"Easy, tiger.  Don't forget, the tower, twelve o'clock."

Sebastian blew him a kiss as he once more turned to walk away.

 


	8. Chapter 8

In hindsight, if Sebastian had known that that would be the last truly intimate and happy moment he would spend with his love he never would have let him leave the flat that day or any day thereafter.  Of course, there is no way of knowing the future and so Jim did leave the flat on that fateful day when things were set in motion that could never be changed no matter how much Sebastian might wish it differently.  Jim left dressed in dark jeans, a white t-shirt with a lightweight jacket and trainers.  Sebastian would always recall laughing at him and when Jim began to get sulky he pulled him into his arms and kissed him telling him that he actually really liked the way the jeans made his arse look.  Jim left just a short time before Sebastian who needed to make his way to a predetermined location near the Tower of London so he could be sure that all went off smoothly. 

At noon Sebastian was in place with a clear view of the thronging crowd entering the Tower, as he searched the milling people he finally spotted Jim.  He hadn't seen him at first and he now realized why that was, he had evidently stopped at a tourist kiosk and purchased a baseball cap that said London across the front.  He laughed because he couldn't remember if there had ever been a time when he had seen the man wearing a hat, he was so particular about his hair.  Jim was now standing on the pavement in the center of all of the action, ear-buds in his ears and looking at his phone.  Sebastian knew that he must be sending the signal to the other participants at various high profile locations all around London.

A few minutes later Jim resumed walking and he entered the building, Sebastian was no longer able to see him as he pressed through the crowd.  All he could do now was wait and waiting was the most difficult part.  He hated the fact that the next time Jim exited the building he'd be in police custody but there was nothing for it.  His mobile alerted him, snapping him out of his thoughts and he looked down at the little screen to see a new text message.

- _XXX, Tiger.-JM_

He grinned widely as he entered his response.

_-I hope that's pillow talk, pussycat.-S_

No response.  All of a sudden Sebastian became aware of the sounds of police sirens from all over the city, so it began.  He could feel his heart rate increasing and his senses were on high alert as he kept his hand on the butt of his pistol, needing the cold, metal reassurance.  He waited anxiously for the police, who had just arrived and gone into the building with weapons drawn, to bring Jim out in handcuffs.  He thought ironically to himself that he enjoyed Jim in handcuffs but only when he was the one who had put them on. They now marched him from the building and were forcing him into the back of a waiting car. Jim, who still managed to look as haughty as ever gave a sly look in his direction for a minute and Sebastian couldn't help but feel as though they had made meaningful eye contact although it would have been near impossible at that distance.  He then chided himself for being such a ridiculous romantic and he watched as the officer forced Jim's head down and pushed him roughly in to the back of the car.

Now the waiting began, it would be a few weeks before the start of the trial but that wasn't an issue, they needed the time.  As jury selection began, Jim's men and women were methodically making their way through the list of prospective jurors making sure that the jurors selected would be the easiest to influence.  His counselor had the easiest job, do nothing and ask no questions, at the end he would be paid quite handsomely.  Sebastian didn't worry about Jim being locked up either, there were a few guards on the Moriarty payroll that would make absolutely certain that he didn't feel too put out.  This was why Sebastian found himself the day before the trial a bit shocked at how quickly the time seemed to have passed.  He did of course miss having Jim at home where he belonged but he finally understood that the only option he had here was to let the game play itself out.

The next day, the day of the trial, Sebastian woke well before sunrise having not slept much the night before anyways.  He decided to go for a run, needing to clear his mind and and calm down, it was bound to be a high emotion, high energy day and so he took advantage of the pre-dawn solitude.  After his run he returned to the flat for a small breakfast and a shower, after which he dressed impeccably in dark Tom Ford custom tailored suit with a white shirt and a deep amethyst colored tie.  He completed the ensemble with his favorite, vintage cuff links in the shape of skulls, they were an enormously expensive gift from Jim.  When he felt certain that he had prepared himself as much as possible he checked his appearance in the floor length mirror in Jim's bathroom and then he left and headed across town to the court house, using Jim's driver and the Rolls Royce, as instructed.

When he arrived he had to go through security and he made it without so much as a backward glance.  He had, of course, left his revolver at home.  Once inside he made his way through the crowd to the courtroom, constantly scanning the faces of everyone he passed on high alert.  He found his way and went to the gallery and found a seat where his back would be against the wall and yet he had a perfect view of the entire room and most of all he would have a perfect view of the place where Jim would be.  He was now looking around keenly, searching for Watson, he was sure he'd be here to support his consulting detective.

The room filled quite rapidly with spectators who evidently couldn't wait to see this supposed, attempted jewel thief, though that had never really been the goal, face trial and hopefully be handed a very heavy sentence.  A pretty, young girl with wavy, dark hair slid into the seat next to him and smiled invitingly at him.  He responded by flashing one of his trademark grins, revealing all his white, perfect teeth and she blushed crimson.  He laughed internally, congratulating himself on the fact that he, apparently, still had "it".

A short time later, when the room was filled to capacity and all of the jurors and officiants were in place, Sebastian felt a thrill run through him when the door opened and some armed guards walked Jim to his place and uncuffed his hands.  Once more he was the definition of arrogance, dressed in a grey Reiss suit and wearing his prized sterling silver, fox shaped tie pin.  Sebastian could feel the woman's eyes on him as he focused on scrutinizing every inch of Jim just to be sure that he hadn't suffered while being locked away, he then released a breath he hadn't been aware of holding when he saw that his boss was the picture of health.  In the next instant, however, he nearly choked when he watched the blonde female guard slip her hand into Jim's trouser pocket to retrieve a piece of gum which she then proceeded to place on his tongue.  Sebastian couldn't help but smirk at the blatant power play, even at the mercy of the court and the guards that held him he still found ways to assert his position over everyone.  He didn't have much time to dwell on it however because the trial was just about to start and the judge was calling for order.

Over the next hour testimony was given, all of it was quite damning and if it were any other man standing there Sebastian was  _positive_ they would rot in a maximum security prison for the rest of their natural lives, not Jim Moriarty.  That was the beauty of jury rigging and also being the most powerful man in Europe helped a bit not to mention the funds.  Sebastian's eyes were trained mostly on Jim, occasionally roving the room looking for any potential threats, until he heard the name  _Sherlock Holmes_ called to the witness box.  Sebastian glanced down the row to look at Watson, who had no idea who he was, as he sat looking down anxiously at the detective who looked almost as smug as Jim.  Sebastian chuckled to himself and turned his attention back to the proceedings.

Sebastian found himself now thinking about how he would like nothing more than to skin that smug look right off of Holmes' face, he was such a condescending prick!  He sat cracking his knuckles compulsively as he listened to the arrogant man answering, after a fashion, the questions from the barrister.  He did find it funny though, listening to his answers, and he thought that Jim couldn't have advertised himself better if he had bought billboards all over town and then went knocking door to door selling his goods.  Once more he marveled at the fact that this man was touted as one of the most brilliant minds of the current generation, in Sebastian's mind he was really quite dull.

"How would you describe James Moriarty?"  The barrister now asked, snapping Sebastian out of his own thoughts.

Holmes answered, "That's your first mistake." He said in that deep baritone with his posh public school accent.  "James Moriarty isn't a man at all.  He's a spider.  A spider at the center of a web.  A criminal web with a thousand threads and he knows precisely how each and every single one of them dances."

At these words Sebastian nearly laughed aloud at the look of mock flattery on Jim's face, eyebrows arched disbelievingly.  The questioning continued in this manner until, after being reprimanded once for his attitude, Sherlock Holmes was removed from the courtroom and held in contempt at which time a recess was called for the day.  That meant that the proceedings would continue in the morning on the following day.  As Jim was being marched from the room he looked up to where Sebastian sat in the gallery and winked while still wearing that incorrigible little smirk.

When the trial recommenced Sebastian was once again sitting in the gallery watching as Jim stood smugly awaiting the moment when his attorney would be asked to call witnesses and knowing full well they weren't calling any, they didn't need to.  Sebastian leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, in order to have a clear view of Dr. Watson so he could enjoy the look on his face when he learned this information, he was not disappointed.  Jim, ever dramatic, turned around and looked up to where Watson was sitting and gave him his most innocent and very best "Oh well" face.  Sebastian snickered under his breath.  Now the judge, who was absolutely outraged, demanded that the jury find him guilty.  A recess was called whilst the jury left to deliberate but Sebastian didn't even stir because he knew it would be very brief.

He was not incorrect in his assumption, a very short time later the jury marched back into the room and the spectators once more hurriedly took their seats, anxiously awaiting a verdict that everyone felt positive would be "guilty".  The lead juror stood and she had barely said the words "Not guilty." when Sebastian silently stood and took his leave wanting to get out of sight in order to take up his guard duty the moment Jim left the building, once more a free man.

From his position he watched as John Watson emerged and immediately began dialing a number on his mobile, he assumed he would be phoning the detective who was not present at today's verdict because he had been banned from the remainder of the trial due to being held in contempt of court.  Sebastian watched each and every face that passed him by from behind his dark sunglasses as he stood smoking in the shadow of the courthouse.  Not long after he received a text telling him that Jim had been released and would be leaving the building shortly, he was on alert.  Jim was heading for Baker St.  and just as he came sauntering down the front steps of the building the shiny black Rolls rolled to a stop at the curb.  Sebastian was there so quickly it almost appeared as though he had simply materialized.  He opened the back door and held it, as Jim went to slide in his hand brushed Sebastian's forearm and without looking at him and very quietly he said, "Thanks, love."

Sebastian smirked and slid in next to him.  A very short time later they pulled to a stop in front of the tiny flat and Jim got out without a single word and entered the place, never even ringing the bell, the detective was expecting him.  Sebastian just shook his head and leaned back into the comfort of the car's luxurious interior and closed his eyes momentarily, fighting a headache behind his eyes.  There was nothing he could do now but wait and he was anxious.  Jim was inside for close to thirty minutes and Sebastian found himself continually checking his watch and becoming more and more irritable.  Finally, Jim emerged from the flat looking very pleased, his dark eyes were positively alight with humor.

He slid into the back of the car once more and as the driver began pulling away he slid right over to Sebastian and placed both hands on either side of the sniper's face.  He looked at him intently for a moment with a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth then he pulled him close and kissed him so passionately that Sebastian had no control over his almost instant arousal.  Sebastian's brain had gone blank, unable to process what was happening, although their relationship was hardly secret they had never shown affection for one another of any kind in public and now here was Jim a step away from tearing his clothes off in the back of a car while and elderly man drove them back to their flat.  Thinking, "Fuck it.", he put his arms around his criminal and pulled him closer, not even worrying about wrinkling his suit, he just adored the feel of the man in his arms.  The kissing carried on for the entire drive and Sebastian tried very hard not to think about the fact that this outburst passion came immediately after Jim had been face to face with Sherlock Holmes, it couldn't  _possibly_ mean anything, could it?

When they arrived outside of their flat Jim put one hand at the knot of Sebastian's tie and gently tugged him from the back of the car.  He was still so astonished that he could do nothing but simply follow like a dog on a leash.  As they entered the flat Jim took Sebastian and pushed him against the mahogany door as it closed behind them, pinning him there with one hand on Sebastian's broad chest and the other holding him firmly by the bulge in his trousers.  A moment later Jim backed away a step and looked the sniper up and down approvingly then he grinned maliciously. 

"My dear, you actually waited for me.  How very sweet, you are a  _good boy._ "  With that he turned and walked away, to the bar to pour himself a tumbler of his finest Irish whisky.  Sebastian was left slumped against the door trying to pull himself together as he straightened his tie and smoothed his rumpled shirt, tucking it neatly back into his trousers.

"Welcome home boss."  He said after regaining some small shred of his dignity.  Jim had his back to him and he now turned around slowly to face him.

"Yes... _home._ " He replied, drawing the word out, speaking it as though it were a foreign language, one he wasn't entirely comfortable with.  The distracted air lifted in a heartbeat and he smiled once more as he looked over to where Sebastian waited, unsure what his next move should be.

"Come, tiger, have a drink with me."  The sniper pushed away from the wall and approached his boss warily.  Jim took the decanter and filled a second glass which he handed to Sebastian as he held his own in the air, proposing a toast.

"To the destruction of Sherlock Holmes."  Jim toasted and Sebastian added, "Cheers." without much enthusiasm.

Jim drank the smooth amber liquid right down and placed the glass back on the bar as he placed his hands in his pockets and stared intently at Sebastian.  Sebastian was still unsure of how to respond, Jim's mood seemed more mercurial than was normal.  He felt that the man was a ticking time bomb.  Jim took the few steps between them and put his both arms around Sebastian's neck lazily while gently tracing circles on the back of his neck with his finger.

"You should have seen it Sebastian.  All of it, the Crown Jewels were marvelous, simply marvelous.  I really felt they suited me."

Sebastian smirked and put his hand on Jim's waist.  "The news has been able to talk of nothing besides you since your performance.  Bravo, pussycat."  Jim smiled up at him and Sebastian lowered his mouth to kiss Jim softly and taste the delectable remnants of the whisky that lingered on his lips.  

"Did you enjoy it?  The trial, the way I made him dance for me?  He really is rather simple to manipulate for a supposed genius..."  Jim trailed off looking thoughtful and a little disappointed.  

"I did enjoy it, very much.  You were a masterpiece and, of course, all of London is in an uproar because the jury acquitted you."

Jim looked distracted once more  as he stepped away from Sebastian's hold, seemingly annoyed by the contact that he had initiated.  He turned and walked away to stand at the windows and gaze out at the city of London as the day faded into early evening.  "Yes, yes, I rather thought it would be the talk of the town.  Its about to become very interesting, very soon.  The biggest problem is that Sherlock always wants everything to be so clever and it's rather funny that he will be brought down due to the sheer simplicity of my plan."

 

Over the following days Jim's mood was so unstable that Sebastian was unsure from second to second which Jim he would be talking to.  Sebastian felt as though he spent every second in the man's company walking on eggshells, never knowing what might send him flying into a rage and Sebastian already bore many marks on his body from saying the wrong thing or simply being in the wrong place when Jim lost control.  In the past he would have left and not allowed Jim to treat him this way, things had changed, that was no longer an option.  Still, it was nearly killing Sebastian to stand by and watch as Jim battled his demons and it looked more and more like the demons were winning.

The night before Jim's kidnapping scheme Sebastian sat on the sofa watching a news channel on the flat screen set in to the wall above the fireplace.  Jim came in , dressed only in his pajama bottoms not wearing any slippers or a shirt despite the dampness in the air. Sebastian thought to himself that he didn't like how much weight Jim had lost.  The criminal came and curled himself like a cat next to Sebastian on the sectional, Sebastian put one strong arm around him tentatively.  When he didn't receive any rude remarks or annoyed huffing he pulled the man a little closer to his side, loving the feeling of his body.  It was solidly reassuring to have him right here, under his arm, under his protection.

"Everything alright, pussycat?"  Sebastian asked, hoping against hope that he wouldn't set him off with a question that he only asked out of genuine concern.  Sebastian exhaled in relief when he heard that Irish lilt answering him with no fierce edge to it.

"Yes, tiger, everything is alright."  He paused and Sebastian wasn't sure whether that was the end or not then he felt Jim shift a bit so he could tilt his head back to look up at his sniper.  He reached up with a cold hand and placed it on Sebastian's scruffy jaw.

"I really think I'll miss you Seb."  He lowered his hand and closed his eyes and was almost immediately sleeping.  Sebastian had no clue what the hell Jim was talking about but he felt his insides turn to ice as he gazed down at the face of the man he loved and adored against all odds and tried to understand what was happening.  While Jim slept he looked peaceful and Sebastian felt that he needed to remember this moment, for some odd reason he felt certain that this was the last time he would have this chance.  He felt his eyes sting with unshed tears and he blinked them away.

Some time in the very early morning hours Jim had woken and went to sleep in his own bed leaving Sebastian slumped on the sofa where he had fallen asleep only a short time before.  When Sebastian woke in the late morning with a cramp in his neck and back from the uncomfortable position in which he had slept, he was at least greeted by the pleasant aroma of coffee.  Jim  _never_ drank coffee, he abhorred it and he usually didn't even allow Sebastian to brew it in the flat but now he was sniffing the unmistakable scent.

Rubbing his neck and unbuttoning his wrinkled shirt which he had slept in, he shuffled into the kitchen to find Jim standing at the stove happily cooking sausage and eggs while the rarely used coffee machine percolated on the marble counter.  He went over to where Jim was standing and put his arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck sweetly.  Jim smiled widely in response which shocked Sebastian though he didn't comment.

"Good morning, tiger.  I wondered when you'd be joining me."

Sebastian was still leaning into him and kissing his neck periodically as he replied, "Not that I'm complaining but, what's all this about?"  He now moved away to pour himself a cup of the enticing coffee and then he went to sit at the island.

"Do I need a reason to make breakfast for finest marksman in all of Europe?" Jim asked teasingly and Sebastian scoffed as he took a sip of coffee.

"No, you don't need a reason, only....you don't cook and what's more, you  _NEVER_ pay compliments.  Furthermore, coffee, until today, has been an illegal substance under this roof.  So, what're you playing at?"

Jim didn't respond, as was his habit, he simply continued what he was doing at the stove while Sebastian sat contemplating his back.  After a moment, as if on cue, he turned and fixed Sebastian with his most intense and mesmerizing gaze, Sebastian couldn't look away even if he tried.  Jim approached, somehow managing to look sexy and powerful while wearing nothing but pajama pants as the weak morning sunlight filtered in through the sky lights.  He put his arms around Sebastian's neck and ran his fingers through the man's short hair, making him smile widely.

"I'm a real bastard Seb.  You know that, of course.  I've known my whole life that I was different, not only intellectually but on a personal and moral level as well.  I've never been loved, but to be fair, I never wanted to be loved."

As he was speaking he had removed Sebastian's shirt and undershirt and threw them across the room, now his deft hands moved to the fly on Sebastian's trousers.  The sniper, for his part, was transfixed by Jim's mouth and the words he was speaking but Jim broke the spell when he lowered is head to Sebastian's collar bone and began kissing and biting causing Sebastian to groan impatiently.  He put his large hands on Jim's waist to hold him in place and also because he needed to steady himself as well.  Sebastian was hard but he needed to hear what Jim had to say next and so he reluctantly put one hand under his chin to bring his face back level with his own.

"Jim, what's going on?"  The name felt strange on his lips, he almost never called him Jim, he always called him by some silly pet name.  It felt somber somehow, it was an odd sensation.  Jim smiled from ear to ear again and he simply moved closer to the man making sure to press his body firmly against Sebastian's hard-on as his hand slid down to cup him.  Sebastian groaned loudly again and decided that the conversation could wait until later as he brought their lips together and he felt a chill run down his spine as he felt Jim's warm, slick tongue enter his mouth and he couldn't stop from smiling slightly against his mouth.  They stayed like that for a while until Sebastian felt he couldn't take it any longer and he roughly removed Jim's pajama bottoms.  In a brief moment Sebastian was on his feet and had shed his own trousers and pants, he had spun Jim around and forced him against the cold marble of the counter.  He took a moment to enjoy this rare moment of power and then he took Jim's wrists and forced him to bend forward over the island.  Just before he entered him he kissed the back of his neck and then lightly bit him several times on the sensitive skin just below his ear.  Finally he couldn't take any more foreplay and as he slid inside he took great pleasure at the mingled sounds of pain and pleasure that escaped from the other man.  He slowly brought his hips flush with Jim's backside and then stayed there momentarily to allow Jim time to adjust before Sebastian started moving in him.

Sebastian held on tightly to Jim's wrists, almost certainly leaving marks that he would pay for later but he didn't care because it was worth it to have him at his mercy right now as he thrust rhythmically, trying to remember every sound that escaped the man's lips.  This was the only time that Sebastian was ever allowed to be in charge in their strange relationship, during sex and he always took full advantage, especially now while he was fucking him over breakfast.  A short time later Sebastian came, sweating and clawing at Jim's back while Jim stroked himself and it wasn't long until he too climaxed, shuddering with pleasure.  Jim turned around lazily and with a sticky hand he brought Sebastian's face lower so that their lips could meet and kissed him gently, he then turned and went off to have a shower.  Sebastian sat back down without bothering to get dressed or gather his clothes and put his head in his hands, he just sat that way for  a while feeling more empty than he ever had in his life and wondering what to do next because he knew deep in his bones that something was going to happen.

Jim never returned after his shower, he just went to his office and locked the door, keeping Sebastian out for the day.  By late afternoon when Sebastian felt he couldn't stand the waiting for much longer he had decided to just go and knock on the door of Jim's office which was usually forbidden but he felt this was an extenuating circumstance but he hesitated.  He knew that today had been the day of the kidnapping and he knew all the details but he hadn't seen Jim since they'd fucked that morning and he was really worried.  He couldn't settle to anything, he had tried reading he had tried watching the telly, nothing worked.  Finally around seven in the evening Jim emerged from his office and he simply glanced in Sebastian's direction and said. "Come along."  Sebastian obeyed wordlessly, he didn't really have any other choice, he would follow the man into hell if need be.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My insides all turned to ash, so slow  
> And blew away as I collapsed, so cold  
> A black wind took them away, from sight  
> And held the darkness over day, that night
> 
> -Linkin Park-

The next few hours were a flurry of activity and Sebastian would never truly recall all that had happened. He remembered clearly when Holmes found the children in the disused sweets factory and then when they were taken to hospital and he also remembered how Jim had planted that seed, so expertly in the brains of those around Holmes, causing the people closest to him to wonder if maybe he wasn’t the hero. Maybe the detective was the one who had set the whole thing up in order to impress those around him. Sebastian was truly awed at the way Jim had orchestrated everything and, despite the anxious feeling deep in the pit of his stomach he truly was enjoying this, watching Jim work, he was like an expert puppet master and the detective and Scotland Yard were nothing but simple marionettes.

Sebastian was ordered to call Kitty Riley and make sure that she knew what had to be done, to be prepared because if all went accordingly she would be having visitors soon. After Jim pulled his little “cab driver” stunt, Sebastian was ordered to station himself outside of Kitty’s flat and await further instruction. He, as usual, did exactly as he was told. As he sat in the extreme damp and cold waiting for the moment that Holmes and, most likely Watson, would turn up.  He couldn’t help reminiscing. Only a few years ago, a few short years, he hadn’t even known who James Moriarty was, now he was so ridiculously in love with the man that he was willing to risk his own life and even the lives of innocent people in order to keep the man safe.

He shook his head thinking how insane he must seem, having never been in love with anyone ever before he had no idea of the things that it could make a person do. He realized that Jim probably didn’t love or adore him as much, he wasn’t even sure that the man was capable of loving anyone, not really. As he sat, smoking a cigarette and thinking he became aware of the sound of car tires on the damp pavement and he then heard the sound of a car door slamming and feet hitting the ground. He lifted himself a bit from his concealed position to check and be sure that it was Holmes and Watson who had just arrived, it was. He felt a white hot anger flare up inside of him at the sight of those two men, especially Holmes. Not for the first time he found himself wondering what exactly Jim found so fascinating about the man.

The two men entered the flat uninvited, breaking and entering then, he thought to himself with a grin. He stood up after a while and stretched, he had gone stiff from crouching so long in the shrubbery but he knew that it wouldn’t be long until Kitty turned up and then Jim would not be far after her, he was still baffled as to how exactly Jim was able to coordinate all of this but then he remembered that there truly wasn’t a thing that Jim wanted done that wasn’t able to be accomplished. A few moments later he heard a car roll to a stop and he glanced over to see Kitty getting out and locking the car with her keyless entry remote. Now he waited, he was pacing back and forth and kept rubbing his hands together to try and keep warm. The activity was intended to keep warm but also he was so keyed up and anxious that it was all he could do not to shout with frustration.

As soon as Jim arrived he was to phone the driver of the Rolls and have him standing by, a block away. Sebastian wasn’t concerned because he was in shape and running meant nothing to him but Jim would have a bit more effort to put in since he didn't exercise regularly although the man was unnaturally thin and seemed to stay in shape regardless of how often he _did_ exercise. Sebastian just rubbed his hands together again and hoped that running wouldn’t be a part of their evening. He was wrong, as always when it came to Jim, things rarely went his way.

He glimpsed him briefly as he entered the flat and Sebastian made the phone call promptly and then he got in position to cover him no matter what happened. Everything happened rather quickly, Jim was only inside for a short time before suddenly he came dashing down the pavement and turned the corner where he ran headlong straight into Sebastian. The sniper caught the smaller, breathless man in his arms and steadied the both of them as Jim huffed with laughter as he grasped at a stitch in his side. Sebastian, who was still holding him by his shoulders in the darkened alleyway, arched his eyebrows at him and said, “Well?”

Jim took a few steadying breaths, still laughing sporadically. “Oh, its brilliant Seb, just fucking brilliant.” And with that he pushed Sebastian against the damp, brick wall and kissed him greedily. His hands came up and twisted in Sebastian’s short hair firmly locking their faces together. A second later Jim lowered his hand and grabbed Sebastian’s hand which hung limply at his side and he led him at a jog to the next block where the car was waiting. On their ride home Jim explained what happened in the flat and at one point when he was describing the confusion of John Watson he began laughing so hard that he nearly couldn’t finish. Having pulled himself together and then explaining that Holmes had almost worked it all out and that the final phase was in the detective's hands he sat back and closed his eyes.

Sebastian hadn’t been able to take his eyes away from the man, not while he was speaking feverishly and certainly not now when he was leaning against the expensive leather interior of the luxury car with his eyes closed appearing for all the world to be the picture of calm. When Sebastian felt the car roll to a stop he leaned forward and slid the tinted glass partition aside to speak to the driver. After a very quiet word he leaned back and grabbed Jim’s hand, not looking at him. A few moments later the car was parked in the underground garage and the driver had left, following Sebastian’s orders.

Jim’s eyes snapped open when he belatedly realized that they were alone. The criminal didn’t have much time to comprehend what was happening before he felt the snipers calloused hands on either side of his face as he pulled him in to kiss him meaningfully. An instant later Jim all but melted into Sebastian’s embrace as they continued to kiss heatedly. Sebastian moved his mouth away and traced the line of Jim’s jaw and then used his tongue very lightly to trace a path down his neck which made Jim arch his back in pleasure, making his Adam’s apple prominent. When he reached the man’s collar bone he lingered a while leaving his mark, very lightly, just small bite marks. Jim then inhaled sharply when he felt Sebastian’s hands undoing his belt on the jeans he was wearing. Jim put a hand on top of Sebastian’s to stop him with a questioning look, this was not the way these things usually went and Sebastian was thrilled to have shocked the man. He batted Jim’s hands away and proceeded in undoing his fly and then wriggling the denim a little lower over his hips.

He then took his time as he used his tongue and mouth all around the sensitive skin of Jim’s lower abdomen. A few times Jim put his hand on the back of Sebastian’s head, wanting to control the situation no doubt. Sebastian wouldn’t allow that, this was going at his pace and his alone. Finally he decided that he had teased Jim enough and after one second of smiling wryly up at the man he dipped his head and licked the tip of his cock before putting it in his mouth completely. He nearly lost it when he heard the pleasurable groans coming from Jim who had tensed up initially and then relaxed as he held on to the back of Sebastian’s head. This was the snipers incentive to go faster and to take it all the way in, to the very back of his throat. He held it there for a bit until he was sure that Jim wouldn’t last much longer then he began sucking again. It wasn’t long until Jim was arching his back and scrabbling at the broad shoulders of the man who had just sucked him off in the back of his car.

Jim's breathing slowly returned to normal as Sebastian laid his head on the man’s stomach, listening to his very real heart beat. Jim ran a trembling hand over the back of the snipers head in a rare, loving gesture.

“What, pray tell, was that about Tiger?” He asked after a short while.

Sebastian took his time answering, not entirely sure that he should. Throwing caution to the wind however, he decided in favor of stating his thoughts. Once more couldn’t possibly hurt, could it? He didn’t raise his head to look at Jim before speaking, he just didn’t feel like he could do it.

“I’m afraid.” His words were so quiet that Jim had to strain to hear those two little words.

“Afraid? What is capable of striking fear in the heart of a Tiger?” Jim asked mockingly but also with a hint of shock as well.

“Plenty of things cause me fear pussycat, only a fool would pretend otherwise. This particular fear however is the fear of losing you.”

Jim was silent for so long that Sebastian was forced to sit up and look at him to see if he was still awake. Before the conversation could continue however a sound from the pocket of Jim’s trousers which were currently resting around his ankles told him of a new message and he leaned forward to retrieve it. After he read it he quickly pulled his trousers up and made to get out of the car looking back briefly at Sebastian who was bewildered.

“Tomorrow, Bart’s hospital rooftop.”

Then he was off, and Sebastian rubbed a hand over his face feeling an inexplicable hollowness. Slowly, as though he were moving in some kind of nightmare he smoothed his clothing and followed Jim from the car and in to the flat. Sebastian easily recalled the sleepless night preceding the fateful meeting on the roof of the hospital. Very early the following morning Jim was awake and bouncing all about the flat like a child who was eager for Christmas morning.

Sebastian showered slowly, trying in vain to put off the inevitable, and he winced each time he heard Jim shouting his name and telling him to hurry, they were heading to Bart’s together because Jim did not want to be without his sniper today. After showering and dressing they headed out together but just before they could leave the flat Jim put a hand out and held Sebastian back at the threshold. He placed his palms on the man’s clean shaven jaw and looked intently into his eyes. Sebastian could not stop the feeling of ice that had settled in his stomach at the look. Leaning forward, Jim kissed him so softly and lovingly that Sebastian could swear that he felt his heart break in two and he had to use a colossal effort to fight back the tears and hold himself together. Jim backed away and laid his hand on Sebastian’s chest over his heart and right where Jim knew the majestic Bengal tiger tattoo was located. He looked at the sniper one more time and his smile was so achingly sad and the look in his deep, dark eyes was so distant that Sebastian felt physical pain just looking at him. An instant later Jim had slipped back into his persona of  _crime magnate_ and he turned with a sigh and headed from the flat. Sebastian had to take several deep breaths before he was composed enough to follow, after a moment he did and he just knew, deep in his bones, in a place he couldn’t describe if he had to, he just knew that Jim wasn’t coming home, today or any other day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the clouds above moved closer  
> Looking so dissatisfied  
> But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing  
> I used to be my own protection, but not now  
> Cause my path has lost direction, somehow  
> A black wind took you away, from sight  
> And held the darkness over day, that night

Just before Sebastian took his place in the stairwell and set up his sniper rifle which would be intended for John Watson, he and Jim exchanged a glance and briefly squeezed the other man's fingers. There was so much that Sebastian wanted to say, so much he never would. With a heavy feeling in his chest he turned and headed for his destination.

Jim went in his direction, heading for the roof top of the hospital where he would meet the detective. He sat on the stone ledge just above the pathology department. From Sebastian’s location he couldn’t see the man but he knew where he was going to be located.

The waiting in that stuffy stairwell was almost intolerable and he kept fidgeting which was entirely out of character for him, he was trained to not move for hours on end, now he just couldn’t stay still. His mobile alerted him sometime around sunrise and he dug it from his pocket to read the new text.

_-I love you.- JM_

Sebastian’s mind went blank, what was he playing at? Why would he send a message like that, right now? Yes they had expressed their love for one another over the years, but so bluntly, at this moment, could only be a bad omen. Not wanting to waste a second longer he tapped a hurried reply.

_-I love you, too. Everything alright?- S_

He waited and waited and his mobile remained silent as the minutes ticked by. He could not stop himself from thinking and recalling the past as he sat, anxiously waiting. More than a few memories made him smile stupidly in the darkened corridor. His favorite moments with Jim that he could call to mind easily were definitely the times when Jim dropped his façade and allowed Sebastian in. Those moments were so rare that the sniper could count them on one hand, easily. What he loved most about Jim, he realized, truly was his vulnerability and his aching desire to be loved, to be held in anyone’s highest esteem.

Sebastian, of course _did_ love Jim and he had always held him on a pedestal but he now understood that he hadn’t made himself entirely clear and the thought made his mouth go dry. He decided that when this business was finished he was taking Jim and they were going somewhere off the grid for at least a month, he would have to get out of the country anyways and lie low for a bit.

He kept looking through his scope and now he saw a cab pull up to the curb behind the building that housed the ambulances. John Watson jumped out in a hurry and he was on his mobile, looking up to the roof with a look of extreme terror on his face.

After an interminable amount of time Sebastian’s mobile finally rang and when he looked at the display he didn’t recognize the number. Lead settled deep in the pit of his stomach as he tapped the answer icon. He didn’t say a word of greeting he just held it to his ear and heard the posh British accent of Mycroft Holmes.

“Colonel Sebastian Moran. I am calling to offer you a chance. It is recommended that you reconsider your position in this tiny matter at hand.”

“I’m not sure I follow, Mr. Holmes.” Sebastian answered curtly and he looked all around his surroundings, scanning for any threats. John Watson was still on the pavement below, looking horrified.

“We both know that you understand your position perfectly, Colonel. If you take your shot, your boss will die. Its as simple as that.”

Sebastian contemplated his words for a long moment and then sighed deeply as he made his choice. He would handle Jim later but he would not allow Mycroft or his government men to kill him. He could almost hear the smile in Mycroft’s voice as he removed his sights from John Watson.

“Good choice, Colonel. It is highly suggested that you flee the country, as a sign of good faith I’ll give you forty-eight hours. After that, my men will arrest you and your boss and this time you will both rot in a prison. Understand?”

Sebastian did not answer he just disconnected and sat for a moment with his head in his hands, feeling defeated, as he decided what to do next. Slowly and methodically he disassembled his rifle and carefully stowed it all away as he prepared to leave the stair well. As he was about to leave he saw it happen, the detective jump from the roof, but it was all a fake. Probably all orchestrated by Mycroft’s men, there was an enormous blow up cushion to catch the man. Sebastian stood, transfixed, as he watched the people running here and there, setting things up, taking Watson out with the bicycle. If he hadn’t seen it with his own two eyes he would never have believed it.

He shook his head in disbelief and decided that maybe he wouldn’t tell Jim right away, maybe he could work out a way to eliminate the detective and the threat he would continue to pose to Jim’s safety on his own. He just couldn’t stand the thought of risking Jim’s life anymore, he sighed and headed for the flat where he was supposed to meet him. He hadn’t heard from him yet and he just kept trying, with increasing difficulty, to squash the uneasy feeling in his stomach. After the exchange this morning and the niggling feeling that had plagued him for some time now, he needed to see Jim, touch him, feel him, taste him.

He was finding it harder and harder to breathe as he discreetly hailed a cab a distance from the hospital, he knew he was being watched but he just didn’t care anymore. He reached the flat in no time at all, or so it seemed to him and he got out and he just felt like he was in slow motion and he could not explain the sense of dread. He let himself in and he stood for a moment in the middle of the room while he looked around at each and every one of the items in the room.

Jim’s favorite Kandinsky that hung on the wall behind the bar with the beautifully dark colors and abstract shapes. He chuckled as he remembered listening to Jim once try explaining why he loved art and Wassily Kandinsky in particular, it had all gone right over his head but he had loved watching Jim talk about it. He looked to the sofa where they had spent many nights, not sleeping but enjoying everything about each other as the sky changed colors outside the solid bank of windows that afforded a breathtaking view of London.

Sebastian thought, a bit sadly, about how much he would miss the high end flat and all of it’s comforts but he also told himself that wherever he ended up it didn’t matter, all he needed was Jim. He didn’t really know exactly how long he stood there, in the middle of the room waiting for Jim to walk in and make a rude comment. He also didn’t recall at what point he actually began to accept the fact that Jim probably would not be walking through the door, at what moment the realization dawned. It had gone dark outside.

He didn’t flinch when he felt hands, unknown hands, on his shoulders some time later. He vaguely processed the face of the man as Harrington.

“Mr. Moran, please…come and sit.” He led Sebastian to the sofa but Sebastian refused to sit, he couldn’t. Not on that sofa, not without him. Harrington’s face was terrified but also resolute, someone had to do it.

“Something happened today, sir. On the roof top, things changed and we couldn’t do anything to stop him. I’m sorry.” The man trailed off into silence as he waited for the Colonel to respond.

“He’s dead?” Were the only words he was able to form.

Harrington answered shakily, rightfully afraid of what would follow. “Sir, please have a seat. You’ve been standing for hours.”

_“Is…he…dead?”_ Sebastian asked again leaving no room for discussion.

“Yes, sir.” He finally replied in a very meek voice.

“How?”

“Sir, I’m-I’m so sorry. He…he shot himself. No one could stop him.”

“Leave.”

Harrington hesitated and looked as though he wanted to try and comfort Sebastian but then he must have seen something on the sniper’s face and left. Sebastian was alone again and his mind was numb. He knew this was coming, he had always known it but he had always held out hope that he would be there to prevent it. He sunk to his knees on the floor of the darkened flat, welcoming the stabbing pain in his knees caused from the hardwood, and put his head in his hands as the ice cold moon shone its cruel light on him and his open grief.

He cried for an impossibly long time, cried for all that he had lost but also for all he had failed to grasp while he had the chance. He couldn’t recall when the tears stopped and he just sat there on his knees, surrounded by the man and the memories and everything he had been to Sebastian. He was so much more than a lover or a boss or a companion, there weren’t really words to describe what he had meant to the sniper, how he had changed his life.  Sebastian accepted the fact that, even in spite of the crushing grief he now felt, he wouldn't change a day of what they'd had, all the fights and all of the making up and everything in between.

Just before dawn he finally stood up and rubbed a hand over his face and looked around again feeling empty. He went to the bar and poured a large glass of Jim’s favorite and most expensive Irish whiskey, he held it up in front of him for a moment before drinking most of it down. He then went and found his laptop and placed it at the island in the kitchen where he could imagine that he smelled coffee brewing, he smiled sadly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the clouds above move closer  
> Looking so dissatisfied  
> And the ground below grew colder  
> As they put you down inside  
> But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

Jim’s body was buried unceremoniously in St. Catherine’s Memorial cemetery, the service was unattended as no one actually knew he had died. It was a cold bleak day and his grave was and will remain unmarked. One of the world’s greatest and most terrible minds will rest eternally in a forgotten grave.

Mycroft’s men, shortly after, raided the flat in central London. All computers and documents were taken and worked on vigorously trying to get past the firewalls and security, some of the country’s top computer geniuses worked day and night on them until finally after almost a week they were able to get past the security measures with hard drives in tact. This was what they found on Sebastian’s lap top:

_To whom it may concern,_

_My name, as I’m sure you know, is Sebastian Moran, I was once a Colonel in the Queen's army. I have spent the last several years working for Mr. James Moriarty, once on a free lance basis and then more recently on much more intimate terms. I am not about to try and make excuses for what he did in his lifetime and I most certainly will not try and excuse what I’ve done but, I do want the world to know a few things._

_Jim and I had a relationship that, even now, is nearly impossible to define. I think in his own twisted and sadistic way he loved me, or at least the idea of me. I know for damn sure that I loved him, I loved him so much that I never once questioned the advisability of following him blindly, but he did that to people. He was able to bend people to his will and it wasn’t only threats and violence that made it all possible. If I were a moral man I might have questioned his actions, I haven’t had morals since I started blowing up little boys and girls in the name of the Queen, I never batted an eye at his orders._

_What he did isn’t really any different than what men and women everyday are being ordered to do but, because it is for whichever God forsaken country they unhappily call home it is excused. We were and are at war, I chose my side and I didn’t regret it for one second. Jim ruled us all and none of us were aware until the very end, once the puppet master was gone and the strings were cut. Only then did we realize that he had been holding those strings._

_The world should forget Jim Moriarty and even more the world WILL forget Sebastian Moran someday. The world made us who we were and I’m not sorry for that, my only regret was that I didn’t save him from his worst enemy: Jim Moriarty. He fought battles that most of us could only ever imagine and he saw the world as a game, a game to be won and I am positive that he would have won, in the end. He wasn’t a monster and that’s all I really want anyone to remember, if they remember anything at all. Monsters can’t be loved and he was loved, for God’s sake, I loved that man._

_As I said, I’m not writing this to make excuses, there are none. I just need you to know that he deserved more and he sure as hell deserved better than me but I was all he had and I’m honored that he did choose me. Jim Moriarty was not a good man, he was the most brilliant human being I had ever met and I will cherish the moments when he let his guard down and allowed me to glimpse his human side, they were rare but they happened and I’m thankful for that much. I don’t believe that the world is divided into good and evil, I also don’t believe that people are inherently evil or inherently good, we are all products of our own choices and no one else’s. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say as I write through my grief, I just NEED someone, ANYONE, to know what that infuriating man meant to me. My life was impossible before I met him, he made it possible again. I’ll never forget that fact, as terrifying and complex as he was, he made my life worth living once again and I am eternally grateful._

_Col. Sebastian A. Moran_

 

Mycroft sat at his desk and folded his hands in front of him as he finished reading. He was a bit shocked, he really hadn’t considered that Jim Moriarty might have had someone in his life who actually loved and cared for him, Moriarty was just a problem to Mycroft, a thorn in his side. He was startled when a knock came on his office door a few minutes later. He told the person to enter.

“Sir?” The young assistant looked a little flustered and Mycroft was annoyed, he had a lot to do and he didn’t have time for hand holding today.

“What is it?” He snapped in agitation.

“Sir, they’ve found him. Mr. Moran.”

“Colonel.” Mycroft corrected, surprising even himself.

“I’m sorry, sir?” “Colonel Moran. He served in the Queen’s army, he is a Colonel. Go on, where was he found?”

“Saint Catherine’s Memorial Cemetery.” Mycroft nodded, that wasn’t all that surprising given what he had just read. Mycroft stood, preparing to go and see the Colonel when the frightened assistant spoke again.

“He’s dead, sir. He was found lying near Mr. Moriarty’s grave, apparently he shot himself.”

Mycroft was shocked, he had not expected that information. For all he knew of the man he did not ever suspect he would commit suicide but, again, having just read the contents of his computer, he probably shouldn’t be surprised. He dismissed the assistant and he stood alone in his office, thinking. Later that same day Mycroft read the report filed on Colonel Sebastian Augustus Moran. A decorated war hero who, upon returning home, fell in with the Moriarty empire and, apparently, never looked back. He was found with his army issue pistol lying on the unmarked grave of James Moriarty with a single bullet through his temple. It was all quite fitting that a tumultuous relationship should end so tragically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now you're gone, and I was wrong  
> I never knew what it was like, to be alone


End file.
